Here Lies Justice
by PervyLlamaSama
Summary: LightxL. In his increasing frustration, L resorts to a rather "unconventional" method to fully confirm his suspicions of Light being Kira. The result: a plan gone horribly awry...and fluff. Lots of it. Yaoi.
1. I: Strategy

_**Here Lies Justice**_

_Chapter I: Strategy_

_- - -_

"Would you care for a cherry, Light-kun?"

The ebony-haired detective dangled the aforementioned treat in front of Light's face, stem held delicately between the thumb and forefinger of his pale, spidery hand.

Light frowned, casting a sideways glance at L. He disliked Maraschino cherries and he _knew _L knew that, seeing as L had offered the same snack a few days ago and received the same response. A miniscule detail, such as Light's dislike of cherries, would be carefully filed in the constantly calculating machine hidden beneath those charcoal tangles, tucked away into L's perpetual thought process, which was always sprinting along at several miles a minute.

Light's own carefully calculating mind was also whirring along, wondering whether this was one of L's twisted "I-think-you-are-Kira-and-this-insignificant-detail-most-definitely-raises-the-odds-of-that-likelihood-by-three-percent" tests. So this was what it came down to; he had to be wary of something as simple as the crimson cherry gazing steadily back at him, innocently reflecting the light in such a way that made it look almost appetizing.

This was one of the things Light hated most about the detective perched precariously at the edge of his chair in his usual style, gazing up at the monitors on the wall. Light constantly found himself under L's microscope—linked by chains, watched by cameras, scrutinized by those large, bottomless pools of black gazing out from sleep-deprived lids, constantly being backed into a corner, forced to overthink his responses to the simplest of questions—"_If I say this, will he jump on it, turn it against me, and accuse me yet again of being Kira?"_

Yes, those chains, binding them together and rattling obnoxiously every time one of them made a move, a constant reminder of what seemed to Light like enslavement. L's cherry offering ignored, Light raised his left arm, gazing steadily at the silver handcuff binding his wrist. He opened his mouth to speak, but L beat him to it, sensing Light's discomfort.

"A precaution, Light-kun, as I have said before," L remarked, in response to Light's unvoiced opinion of the silver links of metal connecting their wrists. Gripping the stalk delicately, as if it contained some deadly disease, L lowered it to his mouth, detaching the cherry with his teeth. "I'm not doing this because I want to."

It was the same thing the older man had said the day he had bound their wrists with the cold metal—_I'm not doing this because I want to_.

Light lowered his wrist, causing the chains to clink mockingly. His eyes flicked to L, who had begun to devour a large slice of strawberry shortcake, keeping his eyes on the screens before him at all times. Light's eyes narrowed in mild disgust as he caught a glimpse of gleaming red strawberry glaze smeared from the corner of L's mouth to his chin. The detective flattened his thumb against the smudge, rubbing it away and easing his thumb into his mouth, delicately nibbling on his nail.

Light despised being confined to twenty-four hours a day of this—a grown man who acted in so many ways like a spoiled child, constantly devouring everything within reach, ordering Watari around like a slave, demanding that Light admit he was Kira…

L had a talent for reading Light's emotions, and sensed Light's irritation. He fiddled with his fork, grasping it precariously by its edge, slowly rotating it between his thumb and index finger.

"Light-kun." L dropped his fork down onto the ceramic plate, where it landed with a clatter. "Do you hate me?"

The question caught Light off-guard; why would L feel inclined to ask such a thing? Furthermore, why would he even _care_? Sure, L wore Light's patience to the paper-thin breaking point and was a constant irritation, but surely Light didn't outright _hate _L. They were partners in the Kira case, equally devoted to their cause. And, in truth, he and L were equivalently matched in intelligence, following the same kind of thought processes, both accompanied by the childish resentment of losing. L was the first person Light could closely and almost completely relate to, Light realized, gazing at himself, reflected flawlessly in L's dark eyes, mirroring his own brown ones, which, in turn, mirrored L's…

Light wondered if L really considered them "friends," or whether it was an attempt to catch Light off-guard, trapping him into letting something irrelevant slip—something L could twist and use against him.

But he _wasn't _Kira, and he wondered just _how_ long it would take to convince L of his innocence. Light's memories of ever being Kira had been relinquished completely, and he was utterly convinced that L was wrong in his suspicions.

At this point Light seemed to realize that he was completely over thinking L's simple question….again.

"No," Light finally replied, eyes scanning lazily over the names and faces of recent Kira victims displayed on the computer screen.

L's expression did not change as he turned back to his cake.

"You do not hate me," the detective said flatly, unable to keep all the skepticism out of his voice. He turned to face Light, fixing those eerily dark eyes on him. Light could see a silent accusation in the unnerving, oversized pupils.

But L said nothing more than the first simple statement, returning to his cake, picking at it with his fork.

"We just don't get along that well, you know?" Light added hastily, aware of how doubtful L seemed to sound.

L said nothing, picking up a dime-sized piece of hard candy and carefully peeling away the foil wrapping. He sucked on the candy thoughtfully, glazed eyes staring at the array of computer screens overhead. Neatly folding the silvery wrapping into small squares, he bit down with a tooth-shattering crunch.

When he had swallowed the remainder of his candy, L daintily picked up another, holding it in his usual fashion, as if it were contaminated. He extended his arm to the right, silently offering the candy to Light, not once taking his glassy eyes off the monitor.

Light dismissed it with a shake of his head, and L withdrew his arm as he began to carefully unwrap the vessel of sugar with his fingertips.

Silence drooped lazily between them, settling over the two of them like a thick blanket. The only sound was the occasional tap of the keyboard as L typed painstakingly slowly, using only the index finger of his right hand. The lethargic clicking of the one-finger typing was accompanied by the occasional _clink _of the hard candy against his teeth.

"I have a date with Misa today," Light announced, tearing a hole straight through the intricate patchwork of the silence that had been weaving between them.

"Yes." L daintily stripped another sweet of its shiny foil wrapping. "I believe I was there when the two of you arranged it."

"Obviously." Light held up his handcuff-clad hand, gleaming chains jingling annoyingly in agreement.

L feigned obliviousness to Light's irritation.

"She should be coming here in…" Light frowned at the clock positioned in the bottom right corner of L's monitor. "…around an hour or so."

L noted Light's lack of enthusiasm, recalling a conversation they had once had.

"_Light-kun."_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Are you serious about Amane?"_

"_No…as I said, it's all one-sided."_

L slid the empty cake plate aside and reached two pale fingers into a box of pocky. His dark eyes mirrored the information on the computer screen as he slowly scrolled down, eyes flicking from right to left then back to right again as he quickly cleared line after line. How frustrating it was, he thought as he twirled the pocky in his mouth, gripping the end of the stick between thumb and forefinger. There had been no progress related to proving Light guilty of being Kira, and L's childish hate of losing was melding irritation and determination into a dangerous combination. This was his suspect, the boy chained to his wrist, and L _refused _to believe he had been incorrect in his suspicion of Yagami Light. Aside from his deductions, counter-deductions, theories, counter-theories, suspicions, guesswork—he still required more hard evidence to prove that the man he was chained to was, indeed, guilty. L knew Light was an excellent actor, and had to keep an eye on him at all times, monitoring him in his tiny field of peripheral vision as the two sat side-by-side in front of their computers.

And so the cogs in L's genius mind were meshing, and he was weighing options, pondering Light's moves and counter-moves and counter-counter-moves, all the while manipulating the pocky with his mouth, weaving his tongue around it, sliding his teeth along the chocolate coating, meticulously pulling it out so that the partially-melted chocolate made a thin line along his bottom lip, slowly running his tongue along it—such a talented tongue, a tongue that was capable of tying cherry stems into knots…

Light dragged his eyes away from what he insisted to himself to be merely L's distasteful eating habits. And he did find it quite disgusting—L always seemed to have something in his mouth…

"Yes?"

Light, wrenching his eyes away from the detective's mouth, flicked his gaze up to meet L's eyes.

"Huh?"

"You were staring at me, Light-kun," L clarified. "Is there something that you want?"

The detective grasped the box between two pale, slender fingers, holding it out to Light. "Pocky?"

Light opened his mouth to speak, but L beat him to it again, interrupting the younger man's thought process.

"Misa's here."

L lifted a bony finger, indicating one of the security monitors above. One of the displays showed the main entrance to the building, where the hyperactive blond was standing, accompanied by Matsuda. Misa had spotted the security camera inspecting her, waving excitedly at it. No sound came from the monitors, but, sitting in the main investigation room and staring fixedly at the screen, Light saw her lipstick-coated mouth form his name.

Maybe Misa had just come early; it had seemed like the shortest hour of Light's life.

On cue, Light rose to his feet, breathing an exasperated little sigh through his teeth as he braced himself for the inevitable headache that would follow Misa's constant bouts of incessant chatting. He managed to get about three steps towards the door before the chain voiced its disagreement and jerked him to a violent halt. Wincing at the inevitable red ring of pain around his wrist, Light spun on his heel.

L was still perching on the edge of his chair, bare feet peering out from the rumpled denim of his jeans. His dark eyes were mirrors, reflecting two very pissed off looking Lights in their black depths.

"I haven't finished my pocky, Light-kun."

Light was tempted to tell L where to shove his pocky, but an aggressive statement like that would just heighten L's suspicion of him.

"Can't you just take your food with you?" Light asked exasperatedly, rubbing his aching wrist.

"Where are you and Misa-san going?" L still didn't rise from his perch. "Does it require the use of shoes?"

L stared forlornly at his bare feet, wriggling his toes in defiance to the concept of shoes—such dreadful _prisons_.

"We're leaving the building, if that's what you mean. If you want to go outside with no shoes on, be my guest." Light gave a halfhearted tug on his end of the chain. "Now can we go? You know how impatient Misa is."

L's thumb flew to his mouth, seeking its usual place clamped between his lips as he finally rose, shuffling along to Light.

Egged on by his paranoia, Light glanced at the plain white T-shirt clad detective slouched beside him for a fleeting moment. He knew the calculating look in L's eyes, the fidgety habit of nibbling his thumbnail, and confirmed that L was in the process of hypothesizing or figuring something out. Perhaps he was peeling apart something insignificant Light had said, removing layer after layer, pursuing his feral hunger for Justice, hoping to find Kira lurking beneath the suspect clamped to his wrist.

In any case, L's dark-eyed stare was unnerving. Light tore his eyes away from it as he headed to the door, knowing he really had nothing to fear—he _knew _he wasn't Kira.

So what damage could L possibly do?

- - -

"Liiiiight!" Upon seeing the chain-linked men descend the stairs to the main lobby, Misa flung herself into Light's arms, causing the chains to rattle loudly in protest. Her smile melted into a cold frown as she glared at L over Light's shoulder, sticking out her bottom lip indignantly. "Pervert."

L silently directed a pale finger at himself, eyes widening innocently.

"Yes, you!" Misa pouted. "You're staring!"

"We have gone through this before," L replied calmly, raising his wrist to point out the obvious—that he and Light were bound together. "I'm not doing this because I want to. I am merely observing."

He turned to acknowledge Matsuda, who had been patiently standing a few feet away the whole time.

"Since Misa-san will be under my surveillance from this point until the end of her date with Light-kun, you can…" L inspected him lazily, struggling to think of something useful Matsuda could do in his absence. "…take the rest of the day off."

"I appreciate the offer," Matsuda replied enthusiastically, "But—"

"You want to be useful. Is that right?" L stared blankly into Matsuda's bright, determined eyes.

"Yes!"

L sighed, dismissing Matsuda with a wave of his hand. "As you know, there haven't been any leads lately, but you're welcome to help the rest of the team."

In other words: _Go away please, Matsuda._

Waving his goodbyes, Matsuda rounded the corner, on his way to the main investigation room.

"So where do you wanna go, Light?" Misa sang out, clinging to Light's arm like a leech—a leech with a dangerously low neckline, clad in the tiniest black miniskirt L had ever seen in all his twenty-five years on the face of the earth. The gleaming silver crucifixes hanging around her neck clinked together as she leaned up towards Light expectantly. Before he could volunteer any suggestions, Misa asked, "Wanna go to the movies?"

"Sure," Light replied, trying his best to seem interested—and succeeding magnificently. He had always been a brilliant actor.

"_As I said, it's all one sided."_

L nibbled the skin at the base of his thumbnail, mulling things over as he rummaged in his pocket, removing his cell phone, holding it delicately between his index finger and thumb as if he expected it to bite him.

"Watari, please drive Light-kun, Misa-san, and myself to the movies. And…" L cast a fleeting glance in Light's direction, "bring my shoes."

_- - -_

L's only consolation was the enormous plastic tub of jelly beans wedged in the space between his chest and his bent-double legs. He was crouched in his usual position, staring up at the enormous movie screen, looking extremely unimpressed.

The movie was terribly boring.

A sideways glance confirmed that Light wasn't enjoying it any more than L was. Misa, however, looked completely entranced, wide-eyed in rapt attention, lips parted slightly as the events of the intolerable romantic comedy unfolded before her.

L, who had never been one for watching movies anyway, especially detested romantic comedies.

As did Light.

So as L crammed another fistful of jelly beans into his mouth, he let his mind wander, submerging himself deep in thought.

He continued where he left off, arranging the pros and cons of a particular plan into neat little columns on either side of his brain. The detective had been doing so all day, arguing endlessly with himself.

Ever-unconventional as he was, L still chewed his lip doubtfully, wondering whether such a plan would work. Light was always the one pulling the strings, never the one to be manipulated. Plus, questions of whether engaging in such actions would be "morally right" plagued the detective's mind in addition to the heavy odds that such a plan could not be successfully pulled off.

But hell, he was L. He could do anything, and if it had a success rate of over 0, it was definitely worth a shot.

And so L fitted his puzzle together quite nicely, ignoring the holes in the final work. Awareness of several missing pieces constantly haunted the edges of L's thinking process. The simple outline: drug Light up enough to get him to admit to being Kira. Of course it _could _go wrong, something as risky as lulling Light into a low-awareness zone through lack of sleep and then drugging him up somehow; slipping something into a beverage, perhaps. If all worked out correctly, L would make a successful trip to his "medicine" cabinet, which was conveniently located in the kitchen, to get his hands on what he needed. Keeping Light up late to diminish his observation skills was a key factor in order to slip the drug into Light's drink undetected. If it successfully took effect and further dulled all Light's sense of reason, caution, and awareness, the ebony-haired detective hoped to somehow urge a confession out of him.

_Yagami Light…_

_Kira…_

L grasped a crimson jelly bean delicately between two fingers. He would see to it that Kira, the boy chained to his wrist, would be proven guilty. L would have his victory; he would have his Justice. L was never wrong in his accusation of suspects; Yagami Light was definitely Kira. L would go to any lengths to close this case, to have his victory and his Justice and prove himself right, because he so _hated _losing, especially to someone as low as a crazy mass-murderer with a god complex.

Yes, he would have his Justice, no matter how unconventional the method—L would load the dice and play this little game, play Light right into the palm of his hand, and then crush him mercilessly, forever silencing the cold-blooded murderer they had both sworn to catch.

- - -

**A/N: Disclaimer time! I don't own Death Note.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	2. II: Skirmish

_**Here Lies Justice**_

_Chapter II: Skirmish_

_- - -_

"Light, wasn't that great?" Misa squealed. The blond pigtails framing her face flailed wildly as she bounced up and down on the balls of her feet. The lights in the theater had flickered back on as credits scrolled up the blackened screen.

"The characters were extremely shallow," L drawled, speaking before Light could voice his opinion. "Character development was minimal, the personalities were thinner than paper, and the plot was more clichéd than something out of a fairytale."

"Well, who asked _you_?" Misa huffed. "It's not like you had to come anyway. It's not like we _want _you here."

L cocked his head slightly to the side, gazing innocently at her, messy dark locks hanging in his left eye's line of vision as he gnawed his thumbnail. "Of course, Misa-san."

If only she knew what L had in store for her precious, darling Light.

"_You _liked it, didn't you, Light?" Misa turned her doe-eyes on him, brows arched up in earnest, bottom lip sticking out slightly.

"Of course, Misa." A hint of a smile played around the corners of Light's lips; L immediately dismissed it as fake. Just as Light couldn't stand L, the detective knew Misa was equally irritating to the boy. The only difference was that Light was extremely blunt in his resentment towards L.

"Yay!" Misa squealed, latching onto Light's arm, black painted nails keeping him in her viselike grip. She glanced over at L, who was cramming the last of his jelly beans into his mouth. "Do we have to go back? I wanna spend more time with Light!"

"Light-kun and I have work to do." L stood up, slouching as usual. "This case is serious; you're lucky I'm allowing you your alone time with Light-kun."

"I'd _hardly _call it _alone_ time," Misa snorted indignantly, folding her arms over her chest. "Besides, Light shouldn't have to be put through the torture of being chained to you all the time—he wants his life back, you know. He's _innocent_, so why can't you just leave him alone?"

"As I have stated several times, I still suspect Light-kun." L shuffled out into the aisle, Light and Misa following closely behind.

"But—"

"It's fine, Misa," Light cut in. "I want to work with Ryuzaki to solve the Kira case. If proving my innocence means being chained to him like this, then so be it."

Misa settled into sulky silence, following L and the object of her obsession out of the theater.

- - -

"Light-kun." L, bathed in the glow of his computer screen, was squatting in his "40 percent reasoning ability increase" position, licking the spoon he was using to devour a half-gallon of chocolate ice cream directly from the container. "You once told me you would like to play tennis with me again."

The date with Misa had long since ended, and Light was exhausted. He nodded his affirmative, struggling to keep his drooping eyelids open. The hours were dragging themselves along and the night was merging slowly into morning; in addition, the time spent with Misa had also worn Light out considerably.

"So how about a rematch?" The rest of the investigation team had left the room a while ago, so just the two of them remained. L was browsing a Kira-worship site, skimming for any relevant information, while Light was looking into recent deaths on his laptop, positioned beside L.

"Ryuzaki, you know as well as I that a tennis match would be impossible under certain…" Light flicked his wrist, earning a jingle from the chain that bound them. "…circumstances. Unless you're saying you'll let me go?"

"No." The spoon was hanging sideways out of L's mouth, gleaming in the light cast by the screens. "But we will play tennis, Light-kun."

- - -

"Table tennis, Ryuzaki?" L had brought Light up to the eleventh floor, where a ping-pong table was located in a small, sparsely-furnished room. The white walls smelled of fresh paint; the investigation team had only recently moved into the brand new building that had been built at L's request.

"Yes."

L wiggled his toes into the light blue carpet, reaching for a paddle. To Light's surprise, instead of dangling it from between his thumb and forefinger, L grasped it as any normal person would.

"Are you going to just stand there, Light-kun? Didn't you say you wanted to play tennis with me?"

"Yes, but…that's not our top priority. Shouldn't we be working on the Kira case?"

L fiddled with the paddle, passing it from hand to hand. "We _are _working on the Kira case, Light-kun," he replied levelly.

"Ryuzaki!" Light grabbed L by the shoulders, shoving him forcefully against the pale wall. "How many times must I tell you—_I'm not Kira_!Someone out there is still killing people—you should be focusing on him instead of cross-examining me through stupid _games_!"

A smile tugged at the corner of L's mouth as he surveyed Light through his wide, dark eyes. "No need to get so _defensive_, Light-kun. We have no leads, tension is high, it's obvious that you need a small break. And besides, why shouldn't we be able to play a friendly game of table tennis?"

"At…" Light glanced at the watch adorning his wrist. "…one o'clock in the morning?"

"Isn't this what friends do?" L tilted his head to the side, gazing inquisitively at Light.

"At one o'clock in the morning?" Light repeated flatly.

"Disagreements will get us nowhere, Light-kun," L replied, jerking his wrist repeatedly to send annoying jingles down to Light's end of the chain binding them. "You are quite the intelligent observer. As you can see, we are joined at the wrists."

Light reluctantly released his grip on L's shoulders, crossing to the other side of the table. What choice did he have? Whatever L wanted, L usually got.

When both were positioned on opposite sides of the table, the chain was taut, extending across the side of the table from Light's left wrist to L's right. Freedom of movement was restricted but not abolished altogether.

"Play to eleven points," L declared, bouncing the white ball once, catching it deftly between his thumb and first finger. "You must win by a minimum of two points. The match will be determined by best four out of seven games."

L let the ball drop, watching it bounce once before striking it over the net.

_No need to worry about my suspicions, Light-kun… Although it is advantageous if you believe that this 'friendly' ping-pong match is a personality analysis to contribute proof to your being Kira. All I have to do is keep you up late, drag out the hours, wear you out…_

Light retaliated with a backhanded hit, sending the ball hurtling back to L's side. It struck the very corner of the table, bounced, and began to drop. As L lunged across, arm and racket extended, Light grasped the chain with both hands and pulled on it with all the strength he could muster, violently jerking L's wrist away from the ball.

Out of L's reach, the ball fell to the ground, fall cushioned by the carpet.

"A dirty trick, Light-kun." L rubbed his sore wrist, face expressionless. The skin around his wrist was marred with a faint pink line from where the handcuff had bitten into it.

_Kira is childish and hates to lose…_

"Your serve, Ryuzaki," Light responded innocently, making no apology for his underhanded move.

L bent down, picking up the ball, bouncing it once before sending it across to Light's side. Back and forth they went, eliciting jingles from their chains as they began to add intensity and speed to their hits.

_The first step is to drag this game out as long as possible and dull his thinking process. We've already pulled a few all-nighters this week, and the date with Misa must have tired him out considerably._

Light stretched his arm out to reach one of L's stray hits, but was jerked back by the biting chain around his wrist. As the ball went out, Light narrowed his eyes at L, who had jerked sharply on the chain to prevent Light from reaching it. He had imitated the stunt Light had pulled before—blatant revenge.

"Once is once," the detective said with an innocent half-smile that didn't reach his ever-emotionless eyes.

Light's shoved his tiredness to the farthest possible corner of his mind as his "I must not lose" attitude kicked in. Jerking of the chain in order to prevent the opponent from being able to hit the ball was now the trademark move of the game, and soon both their wrists were throbbing. It was more a game of "let's see whose wrist snaps off first" rather than table tennis.

Even though Light was right-handed and the chain was attached to his left wrist, the force that L used to wrench Light away from hitting the ball was strong, greatly restricting Light's reach. L, however, was at more of a disadvantage; he was also right-handed, and the chain was linked to his right wrist. With every flick of his hand, little shocks of pain were triggered in his wrist, but a little pain in the name of Justice was definitely worth it, if he could succeed in proving Light to be Kira.

The ball sailed across to L's side, missing the table by a fraction of an inch and plummeting to the blue-carpeted floor.

_As long as I'm careful, things should work out well, provided that Light responds to the drug in the expected way. The chances of something going wrong are under 50 percent..._

There was always a chance of something going awry, but L had always been one for taking a gamble in the name of Justice.

The match continued on, each player unrelenting in his desire to win. At this point, L was topping Light, three games to two.

"If I win this game, you lose the match, Light-kun," L commented, delicately nibbling at his thumbnail.

"Don't count on it, Ryuzaki," Light returned, serving the ball with a smack of his racket. Back and forth again, the volleys continued. Inevitably, Light caught up to make the score three games to three.

_The aftermath will also be unpleasant, assuming tonight is successful. However, it will all be worth it; I will dominate Kira and show him that Justice—_true _Justice, not his twisted definition—will always triumph over sick, twisted mass-murderers._

His methods may have been rather unconventional and he may have been overconfident, but L's projection of the likeliness of failure was less than 50 percent, which meant the whole ordeal was definitely worth a shot.

"Yes!" Around ten minutes of volleying later, Light declared his victory. He smirked as L swiped at the ball, missing it by a hair's breadth and drawing the match to a close. "Four games out of seven. I win, Ryuzaki."

_You win? How ironic._

"You beat me…" L stated blankly, thumb wandering to his lips.

_And you look tired, Light-kun. I think it's time to put things into motion._

He was still not quite sure of how Light would react if he could successfully pull off his plan, but L continued to convince himself that it was still worth a shot.

"I want a snack now. How about you, Light-kun?"

"Ryuzaki." Light was unable to keep his irritation at bay as he glanced impatiently at his watch. "It's almost two o'clock in the morning."

"But I don't remember having dinner."

Light's stomach betrayed him as it growled in agreement. He didn't know which was dominant at this point—hunger or sleepiness. Wearily, he trudged behind L as they descended the stairs, heading for the third-floor kitchen.

L headed straight for the fridge, shuffling around inside it for at least five minutes (Light was constantly glancing anxiously at his watch). To Light's silent frustration, when L finally straightened up into his usual slouch and closed the fridge, it was apparent that the detective had not taken out anything at all. Instead, he decided to shuffle over to the counter, grabbing a pink and blue striped box and plopping it down on the table. He flipped open the top, displaying a halfway-eaten vanilla cake, iced with pink and adorned with bright red strawberries.

L then rummaged in a drawer, returning with a knife and two plates. After cutting his own obnoxiously large slice of cake, he turned to the younger boy.

"Big or small piece, Light-kun?" he asked, eyes focused on the cake.

"Don't you have any real food?" Light asked, staring distastefully at the frosting-covered knife in L's hand. He already had anticipated L's "But this_ is_ food, Light-kun" and hastily added, "I mean…something non-sugary."

"Not today, Light-kun," L replied serenely. "Big or small piece?"

Defeated, Light slumped into the nearest chair. "Small."

L's definition of "small" and Light's definition of "small" were two entirely different "small"s. The piece of cake placed in front of Light was as wide as the distance across the palm of his hand.

Not quite Light's definition of "small."

L crossed the kitchen again, dragging the handcuffed Light along with him. He rummaged around in the fridge again, returning to the table with a can of whipped cream.

"Whipped cream, Light-kun?" L inquired innocently, spraying it all over his cake until the entire slice was coated in white.

"No, thanks." Light yawned, propping his elbow up on the table and resting his head in the open palm of his hand.

L snatched one of the strawberries off the top of Light's cake and placed it delicately at the peak of the whipped cream mountain on his own slice. "Coffee, tea, water, Light-kun?"

"Tea," Light replied, completely exhausted. He was hauled to his feet once again by the pulling of their metal binding. L trudged across the kitchen, began to boil the water, and started to rummage in the cabinets overhead, pulling an unwilling Light behind him.

Light stood beside the detective, swaying slightly, eyes half open. From behind drooped lids, he watched the water boil, watched L pour two cups…his eyelids drooped fractionally lower…he pressed a hand to the countertop to steady himself…

"Light-kun." L shook the chain obnoxiously, jerking Light back into partial-awareness. "It's not sleeping time yet. You haven't eaten."

"Since when do you care…" Light stifled a yawn. "…Ryuzaki?"

Completely ignoring the question, L shifted position so that Light's view of the cups of tea was obscured by the older man's back. The detective was fumbling with something; Light craned his neck, struggling to catch a glimpse of what L was doing. Light, though his senses were dulled by tiredness, was nonetheless able to catch a glimpse of L opening a small white packet and pouring its contents into one of the cups.

_Light's _mug, as it turned out. He had been watching carefully as L placed the drinks in front of their respective spots at the table.

_You saw it, didn't you, Light-kun?_

As if on cue, Light cleared his throat and announced, "Ryuzaki, you put something in my drink."

L's brow was knit in faux confusion. "I did not."

"Fine, then." Light smirked, grabbing both cups. "Switch drinks, then. _You _take _mine_."

"If you insist," L replied calmly, swapping the drinks and dumping a handful of sugar cubes into the cup he had traded with Light.

_Exactly as planned… I knew you would request a switch, Light-kun._

"Careless, Ryuzaki," Light sipped his tea, a smirk still plastered on his face. "If you're going to try to poison my tea, you'll have to try harder."

L said nothing, stirring the mountain of sugar cubes around with his spoon. He replaced the spoon with a fork and began to attack his slice of cake.

_You truly are a very mistrusting person, Light-kun. An innocent sugar packet was all I put into your drink—the drink I knew would eventually end up as mine. You're still wary as I had guessed, but not wary enough. You would never expect me to do anything to the tea I was supposed to drink. Had you been awake and at full awareness, you would notice that I agreed to witch drinks far too easily._

_As for that tea I originally had—the tea that you are now sipping, well…_

L speared the strawberry atop his whipped cream covered cake and shoved it into his mouth.

…_we'll just wait and find out._

"Hey, Ryuzaki…" They had been sitting in silence for at least fifteen minutes. Light had long since drained his tea. "I feel kind of weird… We should probably sleep soon…I think."

L resisted the urge to look up and continued to pick at the remaining cake crumbs on his plate. His eyes were alight with excitement, but his face betrayed nothing as he slowly raised his head, gazing at Light.

"But you haven't finished your cake, Light-kun." L reached across the table with his fork, slicing a piece off of Light's plate and placing it onto his own.

"Since when d'you care?"

An edge of panic embroidered his speech as Light realized he was beginning to slur his words.

_Exactly as planned._

_Now, let the interrogation begin._

"Ryu…zaki, you… What did you do to my drink?" Light rose to his feet, pressing both hands to the tabletop for balance.

"I switched our drinks on your request. Don't you remember, Light-kun?"

"Bastard… Ryuzaki, you…" Light stumbled over to L's side of the table, firmly grasping L's shoulders. "…drugged it…"

"I wasn't the one who demanded to switch the drinks…" L innocently stared up at Light's half-open eyes. "That was all your idea…_Kira_."

"Mm…not Kira…" Light mumbled, leaning in close to the detective's face, squinting as his vision blurred.

_You'll be spilling everything soon, Light-kun. It'll only be a matter of time, since you drank it all._

_Perfect. Exactly as planned._

"Hmm…" Light's eyes were squinted slightly as he closely examined L. "Damn… Ryuzaki… I never noticed, but…"

L tensed up as the look in Light's eyes drastically changed. The younger man's eyes were no longer half-open and dazed; there was a new, strange look in them that L didn't recognize. Excitement? No, not quite… But the next few words out of the brunette's mouth froze L's thought process immediately, before he could begin to decipher what Light's eyes were saying.

The corner of Light's mouth curled into a devilish smirk. "…since when did you start looking so…_sexy_?"

_Wait…_

…_what did he say?_

- - -

**A/N: Mmyeah, I reaaally wanted to make them play ping-pong.**

**Now that **_**that's **_**out of my system, I shall have much fun with drugged-up OOC Raito-kuuun… :D**

**Ohnoes, I sense…L RAPE. D:**

**Well, you know what they say, "you can't rape the willing," or, as one of my buddies likes to say, "it's not rape if you yell 'surprise!'" So yeah, much yaoiness shall ensue, but I'mma be a sadistic bitch and wait until the next chapter. Nyahah. :P**


	3. III: Submission

_**Here Lies Justice**_

_Chapter III: Submission_

- - -

One of Light's hands entangled itself in a lock of L's hair, twisting the ebony strands around his forefinger. "Why d'you look so surprised…Ryuzaki? Didn't you…see something like this coming?" He hiccupped.

_I truly didn't expect actions this drastic; however, I can still take advantage of the state he's in. Hopefully I can turn the tables…_

"Always that…blank stare, eh…Ryuzaki?" Light grinned, grasping L's head between his hands. "I know there're emotions…somewhere in there… I'm gonna _make _you show me them…"

_No…this is going to end badly. Did I slip the right one into his drink? Did I overdose it? What if—_

L's thoughts fuzzed out as Light leaned forward and forcefully crushed his lips against L's. This was new—this was _not _the feeling provided by a spoonful of ice cream, or a slice of cake. This was something foreign pressed to his mouth, and even though a faint taste of strawberry frosting still clung to Light's breath, there were other undertones, things L couldn't define.

The blood pounding frantically in his veins was nothing new—it was almost the same kind of adrenaline that coursed through his body when he had discovered an important lead, or uncovered a vital piece of evidence, or located a suspect.

But there was something different about this, too. It was so close to the "world's greatest detective" type of adrenaline, which was probably why L was enjoying it, probably why he reached up and tangled his fingers in Light's hair and pulled him closer and leaned into the kiss and—

_L. Get a hold of yourself and get it together. You are submitting to Kira._

_L does not submit to Kira._

"First kiss, Ryuzaki?" Light had pulled away, cocking an eyebrow, a smirk spread across his face.

L's eyes were wide as he uncoiled himself from his crouch, standing up on shaking legs. Warmth crept up the back of his neck and into his face; he wanted to flee, ashamed of how pathetic he must look, but he was rooted to the spot.

_Get a hold of yourself. L does not submit to Kira._

"Light-kun." L's voice was shaky as he pushed his chair back, taking a step away from Light. His breathing was erratic. "We… You…have to stop."

"Oh, but Ryuzaki, wasn't this _your _idea?"

"My calculations did not account for…" L was cut off as Light pounced on him, pinning L to the floor and landing on top of him. Light's hands held L's wrists firmly pressed against the ground as the detective squirmed under him. "Get…off…"

_L does not submit to Kira._

L's thought process was grinding to a halt. His instincts kicked in and told him to kick Light in the stomach and run, but he barely had time to react.

The younger man's mouth was hot on L's neck; the detective's hands squeezed shut tightly, desperately seeking something to grab onto. L's nails dug hard into the backs of Light's hands, which were the only things in reach.

Hissing in pain, Light retaliated by dragging his tongue down L's throat and digging his teeth into the detective's collarbone.

"A-Ah!" L cried out, arching his back, squirming beneath Light. "S-Stop it!"

_L does not submit to Kira._

"You're holding yourself back, Ryuzaki…" L shuddered as Light's breath tickled his neck.

"You're…not…yourself…" Light smirked at L's staccato breathing. "Don't… You'll…regret it…later…"

Summoning all his strength, L lurched upwards, pushing Light off him. In the same fluid movement, he slammed Light down on his back; the positions were now switched.

"Sexual _dominance_, Light-kun?" L breathed through gritted teeth. "How…_Kira-like_…"

"What?" Light snickered softly, staring into the flushed face of the detective above him. "You're saying _you _want to be on top?"

"On…_what_? I-I said nothing of the sort!" The twenty-five years of no sexual activity whatsoever were definitely working as a disadvantage to L; every word, every breath, every move was now throwing him off.

"Gotcha." Light seized the chance and flipped L back onto his back, on top once more. "Ryuzaki, how _helpless_…you are… If just a kiss can break you that easily…I wonder…"

_No, no, no… L does not submit to Kira… Get him off. Get him OFF._

Light swiftly pulled off L's white shirt. It dangled limply at L's wrist, unable to be completely removed due to the handcuffs. L shivered, his back now pressed against the cold, tiled kitchen floor.

Light trailed his fingers, feather light, slowly down L's bare stomach, taking pleasure in the tiny gasps L was struggling to hold back. His hand finally came to rest against L's crotch, causing the detective to let out a strangled cry.

"Nngh… Light-kun..."

_I need to force some form of a confession out of him quickly, before he does something regrettable…_

_I didn't plan on the fact that I'm far more inexperienced than he is, and I wasn't counting on his reaction being…like _this._ Damn you, Yagami Light… _

"S-Stop touching me!" L cried, involuntarily thrusting his hips upwards, against Light's. L was completely losing control of himself as heat rushed to every corner of his body, twisting through his head, rushing down his arms and chest, heading down, down…

_Make him confess while he's still in a drugged state; otherwise all this will have been for nothing._

"Stop this…nonsense…" L hissed weakly, grabbing a fistful of Light's hair, pulling on it forcefully. "…_Kira_…"

Light, in his drugged-up state, could still tell that L was losing his resolve and beginning to succumb to pleasure. L could try all he might, but Light would never confess to anything—he _wasn't _Kira, his memories of being Kira were gone completely, and L's attempts were futile. All the ebony-haired detective needed now was some…_convincing_.

The sound of a zipper being undone met L's ears—_his _zipper. Clamping his mouth shut, refusing to give Light any gratification, L squeezed his eyes shut, shuddering as Light snaked his hand into L's pants.

"S-Stop!" L's eyes flew open as he let out a throaty moan. Hearing himself emit such a sound chilled the blood pounding rapidly in his veins for just a moment. But then everything was ablaze once again, and he felt Light's hands on him, felt himself burning at the touch, breath coming in short gasps.

And then Light's mouth was on him, and as the brunette's eyes flicked up for a quick glance at L's face, he saw what he wanted. A hint of pink subtly flushed his still abnormally pale face, slick black hair was plastered to his forehead with sweat, and most importantly, Light noticed his eyes: they were wider than usual, their black pits reflecting fear, accompanied by a certain masochistic enjoyment as he begged Light to stop.

"_Ah! _F-Fuck…" L threw his head back, gritting his teeth, arching his back. As far back as he could remember, L had never touched himself at all; he had no need to, he was perfectly content sitting in front of his computers day and night, sexually dormant. Now everything was out of control; his equilibrium had been completely shattered. L's head was spinning and his fingers were tingling, shivers running down his spine even though everything felt so hot. Suddenly, he wanted nothing more than to reverse the positions—he wanted to _win_, wanted to make Light hiss and gasp and moan, wanted to show the cocky brunette that he couldn't win that easily…

But his strength had left him, his breathing was ragged, and every touch made him tremble and whimper like a lost puppy.

_But L does not submit to Kira…_

Light smirked down at the flushed face of the usually completely calm detective below him. This was L without his barriers—without the walls that separated him from humanity, walls that could so easily be broken down to prove that L _was _human, even though at times he seemed like merely a detached shell. For the first time, he had seen real _fear _in L's wide, dark eyes, and it sent a feeling of power, of domination, quivering through him. He was _better _than L, he could _control _L, L was so _human_. The face behind the black calligraphic letter on the computer screen was completely _mortal_—nothing special, merely another human.

Light's thoughts were beginning to reorganize themselves neatly into order; the drug L had slipped him, whatever it had been, was not lasting long. But even as his mind cleared and the haze began to lift, he realized he still _wanted _this. Not sexual gratification, no; he wanted to be _better_ than L. He wanted to show L that _he_, Yagami Light, was _winning_.

Panic seized him for a split second as Light realized he was thinking like Kira. He needed to end this now, needed to completely conquer L in the most primitive of battles before he second-guessed himself out of finishing what he had started.

The look in Light's eyes gave L the chills; normally, L would have completely dismissed it, but now he was completely out of sorts.

Thoughts and feelings were swirling together in a blur of color, panic, and staggered breaths; L found himself in their shared bedroom, but had no idea how he got there. He assumed Light had carried him there, but he didn't remember. His suspicion was rising drastically, percentages increasing to staggeringly large numbers as he fought to escape from the still partially drugged brunette. The true extent of L's exhaustion was taking its toll, leaving him weak and unable to fight back, and he remembered screaming as pain ripped through him. His consciousness was beginning to fade out under the stress of everything that had been built up upon him; his vision was shimmering with pale blotches each time he blinked, as if he had stared at the sun for too long. Despite the exhaustion and the pain and the complete humiliation of letting Kira top him, L remembered a sick sense of _enjoyment _as he clutched the bed sheets so hard his knuckles turned white, as he uttered feeble _"Stop it"_s and _"Get out"_s. His pride and his body were battered as he was completely submerged in this pain he had never been submitted to ever in his life, pain beyond anything he'd _ever _felt. A mix of English and Japanese drivel was spilling from L's mouth as he weaved in and out of languages, combining words from both into nonsensical sentences, all conveying the same message—get _out_, stop hurting me, get off of me, I don't _want _this…_Kira_…

And, to L, it _was_ Kira; to L, Light was worlds away, and _Kira_ was the one screwing him into the mattress. _Kira_ was the one sending this all-consuming pain shuddering through his pale, bony frame. _Kira_ was dominating him, and L was powerless against him, constricted by the sensations of pain beyond belief mixed with a subtle hint of some sick form of pleasure.

Because he didn't want to believe Light would do something like this.

So, by default, L insisted it was Kira.

And he, L, was completely powerless. L could only clutch the sheets tightly in his trembling hands and grit his teeth, exerting all his energy into keeping himself quiet, hating to give Light the satisfaction of hearing him whimper like a kicked puppy. It must've been just a matter of minutes before the whole ordeal was over, but to L it seemed like days—_weeks_, maybe as he struggled to keep the scream building up in his throat at bay.

Eventually, he failed.

L remembered hearing another scream—his scream? Light's scream? Both? It was the last thing he remembered before tumbling into blackness, overwhelmed by exhaustion and pleasure and love and hate towards this drugged-up animal he had created.

- - -

L's head was throbbing as he opened his eyes, squinting in the sunlight that spilled through the window. Everything hurt, he felt groggy and disoriented; it was almost as if _he _was the one who had been drugged. The clock on the bedside table read 5:39. He sat up, wincing, glaring beside him at Yagami Light, who was still asleep.

_Pain in the ass…literally…_

_  
Well…that completely backfired._

Light's breathing was deep and even. His mussed hair was splayed messily across his forehead, and one hand was tightly clutching his pillow. He looked so innocent in his sleep—L could hardly believe this was the aggressive man who had robbed him of his virginity the previous night.

_Well… It was my fault for drugging him. I didn't quite expect something like that to happen. There is a 79 chance that he will remember what happened last night. _

L nibbled his thumbnail sulkily.

_Let's just hope for the remaining 21 so we can get back to investigating this case. It seems I will have to use a more conventional method to figure out whether or not Yagami Light is Kira._

Light stirred, relaxing his grip on his pillow as his eyes flickered open. He caught a glimpse of L's vague, blurry outline beside him, and Light blinked to shed his sleepiness and clear his vision. He yawned, stretched out his arms, and propped his up his pillow, leaning back against it.

Light glanced sideways at L again, executing an almost comical double-take as he realized the charcoal-haired detective was shirtless. He averted his eyes once he caught a glimpse of a red mark on L's neck, and the events of the previous night came flooding back to him.

It was then that Light realized his head was throbbing, and the sensation of a sledgehammer repeatedly colliding with his skull overwhelmed his sleepiness as he grunted in pain.

"Good morning, Light-kun," L intoned loudly, standing up stiffly as he tried to ignore the pain in his rear end, a token of his and Light's nighttime encounter. He refused to show Light any weakness, refused to acknowledge his damaged body as well as his damaged pride. He sloppily donned his wrinkled white shirt, paying no mind to his appearance, as usual. Dragging Light behind him, L made his way to the kitchen, walking as fluently as possible.

The white tiled floor was cold against L's feet, refreshing after the waves of heat he had succumbed to the previous night.

Light, stumbling in his half-awake state, wondered whether the detective remembered anything at all from the night before. L seemed to be himself again—calm and collected, nothing like the writhing, sweat-slicked body that had been gasping below him several hours ago. Either L had forgotten everything, or he was feigning obliviousness. Light took a guess at the latter.

"Coffee, Light-kun?" L's voice was faint and scratchy, but he pretended not to notice.

Ignoring the question, Light responded with an inquiry of his own.

"Why did you drug my tea?"

"I was hoping to dilute your caution and awareness in hopes of getting a confession out of you," L responded honestly, gazing steadily up at the ceiling, speaking as calmly as if they were discussing the weather.

"It's useless, along with any other stunts you try to pull," was Light's monotonic reply. A hint of anger clung to his words. "I'm not Kira."

L merely chewed on his nail as silence settled down upon them.

Light, deciding that things couldn't possibly get any worse between them, ventured forward with, "But I wonder if that was really your goal. It's not like L to leave huge holes in his sadistic plots. Perhaps you had…ulterior motives?"

Unfazed, L remained silent, pouring their coffee and bringing the two cups to the table. He retrieved a carton of milk from the fridge and poured it into his cup. The coffee paled into light muddy brown, and he snatched a fistful of pale sugar cubes, dumping them into the mix.

"We should probably erase the footage on the security cameras," L announced calmly, stirring his coffee with a teaspoon. "There are four cameras in this kitchen alone. I don't think things would end well if someone discovered the events of last night, especially if it leaked to the media that L was raped by his Kira suspect, don't you think?"

"C-Cameras?" Light's voice was laced with panic. _Rape? _Did he actually…? No, of course not; it was _L's _fault for messing with his tea. Light refused to let the blame rest on him. "And in our room…?"

"No, I requested the removal of the cameras in our room about a week ago," L responded, scooping a sugar cube onto his spoon and placing it in his mouth. "We should be fine as long as we erase the tapes that were recording the things that happened of the kitchen."

He spoke so lightly, sounding completely unconcerned as he resumed the stirring of his coffee. Light remembered the wide, black eyes staring up at him, petrified. Compared to L's present dull, unconcerned gaze, it was as if the L of last night and the L sitting in front of him now were two entirely different Ls, only coincidentally sharing the same tousled black hair and abyssal, glassy eyes.

"All right. So we'll erase the tapes." Feeling relatively relieved, Light settled into his chair more comfortably. After taking a long, slow sip of coffee, he continued, "It's almost six. Let's delete everything now, before the other investigation team members ever come near to having a chance of possibly getting their hands on any footage."

"No," L responded flatly, eyeing the melting sugar cubes in his coffee cup. "I am extremely uncomfortable. I would like to take a shower."

"This is more important than your comfort. And besides…I'm stronger than you." Light didn't know why he said it, but he liked the power that coursed through him as he realized the truth in his words—he was better than L. Hadn't he _proved _it last night, in his own sick little way?

"No," L replied, keeping his voice low and bored-sounding. "I was just vulnerable, because you didn't play fair. I assure you, I am quite strong."

Light knew that L was recalling the satisfying kicks he had landed directly in Light's face at the beginning of their connected-at-the-wrists ordeal. The detective _was _strong, despite his appearance.

Then again, Light had punched L across the face a few times as well.

"Shall we go without a fight, then?" L suggested, standing up after spooning one last partially melted sugar cube into his mouth, having drunk none of his coffee.

"Fine." Light mimicked the detective, pushing back his chair and heading towards the bathroom with L.

Light didn't let the guilt of what he had done weigh him down; of _course _it wasn't his fault. He noted that L was walking differently today, standing up stiffly instead of assuming his usual slouch. The detective's arms were folded over his chest in a manner that looked almost protective, as if he was expecting Light to jump him at any second. It was subtly done, but Light noticed that L was constantly casting quick glances behind him at Light.

Light wondered what emotions were plaguing the older man—fear? Awkwardness? Embarrassment, humiliation? Despite having uneasy body language, L's eyes betrayed nothing.

The brunette shook his head, thinking it completely idiotic to even _care_. He let himself breathe a calm sigh of relief as he trudged along behind L. Everything would be fine; the security tapes would be erased, and no one would ever know about L's failed plan or Light's drug-induced rape. No one would ever see, and everything would be fine.

But unbeknownst to Light, someone _had _seen, and L was fully aware of it.

Which was why, as they entered the bathroom, L was not surprised in the least at the ringing of the cell phone in his pocket. He flipped open the phone, clutching it delicately between his thumb and forefinger as he said brightly, "Hello, Watari."

- - -

**A/N: OHNOES LIGHT, YOU'Z IN DEEP SHIT. :P**

**Just picture it: Watari kicking Light's ass. Haha, not seeing it. Oh well.**

**-guilty face- So yeah, that was the first pr0n scene I've ever written, sorry if it isn't that great; I didn't want to really go for all-out smut (sorry… My morals tell me no (damn morals, I'll conquer them someday)). –sulks-**

**Supah HUGE thanks to everyone who reviewed the previous chapters! :D Wuvz ya!**

**Sorry if updating is slow, I'm juggling this along with school, track, soccer, and family stuff, so I apologize in advance. I've been reduced to the point of carrying bits of this fic around with me on a flash drive and plugging it into the school computers and writing when we're supposed to be researching in history… XD**


	4. IV: Secret

_**Here Lies Justice**_

_Chapter IV: Secret_

- - -

Light froze, staring wide-eyed at L's pale, emotionless face. Whenever L and Watari conversed alone, they would speak in English; it was easier for both of them. Of course, this also meant that Light could barely understand a word L was saying. Light strained his ears and tapped into the limited knowledge of the English language he had learned at school.

He heard the detective say "yes" after a short pause. The next bit was a jumble; L spoke too quickly for Light to decipher most of it. He caught the words "mistake," "don't," and his own name.

L's brow was furrowed as he listened to Watari's reply for a long moment, before responding with a curt "no" and snapping the phone shut.

The look in Light's eyes voiced all his unspoken questions.

"It was Watari," L said uninterestedly, closing the bathroom door behind them and stuffing his phone back into the pocket of his wrinkled jeans. He slipped out of his clothes, throwing his pants unceremoniously on the floor. His shirt dangled loosely at his side, still attached to him by the cuff at his wrist.

As L stepped in, slid the shower curtain shut, and turned on the water without first waiting for it to get warm, Light was about to question the purpose of the phone call. Before Light could utter a word, L announced, "He wanted my opinion on a particular circumstance of death for a recent victim."

L had a magnificent poker face, but Light's gut twisted up unpleasantly, and he immediately detected L's lie.

"It was about last night, wasn't it?" Light scowled at the shower curtain separating them, glaring daggers at L's silhouette. What, did L think he was an _idiot_? It was obvious that L was being untruthful; Light only needed intuition to figure that out.

L stood perfectly still, not uttering a word. Light's frustration was building, and he felt his fingertips twitch slightly as he was flooded with the urge to hit L.

"_Wasn't _it?" Light repeated, demanding an answer. His voice was raised in irritation with a slight undertone of panic. "Watari knows, doesn't he?"

For a brief moment, the only sound in the bathroom was the pattering of water from the shower. L was gazing steadily up at the showerhead, wet hair plastered to the sides of his face. Water trickled down his forehead and dripped from the end of his nose. The detective could sense Light's obvious irritation, but didn't know how to reply. He could lie and have the brunette see through it completely, or he could spit out the truth and give Light a panic attack before complete explanations could be made. L didn't particularly feel like taking either action, so he settled for silence.

Light was at his wits' end by this point, a bundle of nerves afraid of what Watari could do. Light could be arrested for sexual assault; although he had been drugged, he would be going up against _L_—for god's sake, the need for a trial was practically unnecessary. It _was _L he would be defending himself against.

It made his stomach twist and constrict and tie itself into knots, and suddenly Light's desperation and anger refused to be suppressed any longer. His fear and worry and frustration burst out all at once as he flung the shower curtain aside, savoring the way L seized up and backed against the wall like a cornered animal about to be slaughtered.

Light knew, as he pulled back his arm and swung his fist into L's jaw with a sickening _crack_, that the percentages in L's carefully calculating head were skyrocketing.

But Light didn't particularly care. He was finally unwinding, uncoiling all his pent-up irritation and taking it out on the unkempt, completely unclothed, soaking wet detective chained to his wrist. Grabbing L by the shoulders, Light flung him to the floor and pounced on him, pinning L's wrists down. The livid brunette held his position over L for a moment, glaring down at the bane of his existence—which was, coincidentally, the man he had _screwed _last night. Water began to soak Light's hair, dripping down onto L's face, and suddenly Light felt an exhilarating sense of power similar to the sensation that had overcome him the previous night. How easily he could just reach down, close his fingers around L's throat and squeeze until those wide black eyes lost their brightness forever; how _simple _it would be to eliminate the childish man and his odd little quirks, to destroy the detective hiding behind the calligraphic letter _L _on the computer screen; how _easy _it would be…

Light realized that such a decision would end in a solid accusation all around of him being Kira, and that was the last thing he needed. The detective was _chained to his wrist; _he couldn't exactly kill him and saunter downstairs, greeting the team cheerily with a clever excuse for the strangled detective handcuffed to him. He'd be locked up in a heartbeat. Plus, although L constantly irritated Light to the point of homicide, they _were _partners, working together to reach a common goal. It would be positively _nonsensical _to murder L simply because he was aggravating. Through his haze of rage, Light held rationality over satisfaction.

And he wondered if he would ever actually be able to kill L if given the chance of getting away with it cleanly. He immediately dismissed this; the thought of L dying suddenly made Light angry. _Extremely _angry, and he didn't know why.

The mood swings and contradictory thought patters and murderous intent were definitely starting to disturb Light at this point.

He had realized that he couldn't bring himself to kill L; however, none of his thoughts prohibited him from raising his fist again in preparation for a second punch to L's face. And it was then that Light realized that L was lying on his back, absolutely still, not protesting or struggling. The paleness of his face, the wide, blank eyes, the complete stillness of his body; if it weren't for the almost unnoticeable rise and fall of L's chest as he breathed, Light would've thought he was a corpse.

Light relaxed his arm slightly, only halfheartedly keeping it raised. L showed no signs of struggling whatsoever; what_ was_ this? Submission?

Without his opponent putting up a fight, the exhilarating sense of dominance had been drained, and now Light was feeling queasy. He had to strain his ears in order to hear the words L spoke, almost too soft to distinguish over the running water.

"I told him not to tell anyone, Light-kun."

"Huh?" Light looked taken aback, and his fingers slackened as he unclenched his fist.

"I told Watari not to tell anyone about what happened," L repeated, staring up at the water droplets trickling down Light's face.

"But why?" Light demanded, still leaning over the detective.

"Why?" L echoed.

"Why the hell would you do that? I thought you were going to use the film as evidence to charge me for sexual assault!" Light's voice was raised in disbelief. It was hard to believe anything L said, since more than half the words out of his mouth were lies.

"Why would I do that?" L asked, staring up at Light inquisitively.

"To get me thrown in jail!" If L was playing dumb to mess with Light's head, the younger man mentally promised the detective another painful blow to the face.

"Why would I want that?"

"Isn't that what you've always wanted? Wanted me to be Kira, wanted me in jail, wanted me to get sentenced to_ death_." Confusion and rage were reflected openly in Light's eyes. "But since you couldn't prove me to be Kira since I'm _innocent_, you set me up last night so I would…would _rape _you…" Light detested the word and hated L for initiating the whole ordeal. He spat his words out bitterly, "…so I would get landed in _jail._ Isn't that what your plan was? Isn't that what you want?"

"No," L replied simply. He watched with amusement as Light's face contorted with anger in the few seconds between the monosyllabic reply and the rest of L's explanation. "Kira will be put behind bars and sentenced to death for mass murder. Kira will not be arrested for rape, because it is a smaller crime and Kira would not receive the proper punishment he deserves if that is the only thing for which I have enough evidence to hold against him."

"I'm. Not. Kira." Each word was laced with venom. Light dug his nails into L's shoulders, still pinning him to the floor.

L flinched, but managed to keep a straight face as he cocked his head slightly. "But I didn't say you were just now. I was merely speaking theoretically. Why do you think I would want _you _in jail, Light-kun?"

"Because you want me to be Kira! For fuck's sake, Ryuzaki! Sometimes you don't make any sense at all!" He slowly rose to his feet and shut off the running water, glaring down at L, who didn't make any move to stand up. Naturally, in such a situation, Light couldn't stop his eyes from wandering along the body of the soaking wet, completely naked detective sprawled on the floor below him.

"You're staring," L commented thoughtfully, chewing on his thumbnail. "Misa-san said _I'm _the pervert?" He sounded genuinely confused, although Light caught a glimpse of amusement lighting up L's dark eyes.

"Misa," Light groaned, clutching his still aching head. "Make sure she never finds out about _anything _that's happened between us."

"It's a secret," L murmured delightedly, pressing his index finger to his lips. "Only you, Watari, and I know. I already told him to delete any incriminating footage when I was on the phone with him earlier."

The ebony-haired detective held out his arm, drawing a soft jingle from the chain between them. "Help me up?"

Light sighed exasperatedly, reaching down to L. Their hands joined, palms pressed together, fingers entwined, and L rose to his feet. He stared intently Light's hand—the hand that had collided painfully with his jaw just minutes ago.

"I'm not going to tell you I'm sorry," Light grumbled as he caught sight of the bruise on L's face, unable to look L in the eyes. "Bastard."

It was all the apology L needed.

Light began to slacken his grip, but L continued to keep their hands firmly pressed together. A drop of water trickled down his bruised cheek, sliding down to his chin before plummeting to the floor. "You're all wet," he finally said, reaching for his towel.

"So are you, dumbass."

Ignoring the last comment, L carefully, one-handedly wrapped the towel around Light, taking care to keep them joined at the hands.

"Let's go." L gave Light's hand a gentle tug, leading them to the door.

"Idiot, you're shivering." Light pulled the older man back and slung one arm around L's shoulders, spreading the towel out to cover both of them.

"Light-kun is very kind."

Light rolled his eyes as they entered their shared bedroom. "Just put on some pants soon, okay?"

"Why?" L inquired, finally unlinking their hands. He fished through the haphazard pile of his clothes on the floor, selecting a pair of boxers and jeans at random. He had finished dressing in seconds, although his damp white shirt still dangled at his wrist. "It's strange that you should ask me to do such a thing. You seemed to be staring before."

He nibbled his thumbnail, face composed of faux innocence as he knowingly, gleefully kicked Light's annoyance up a notch. "Were you not?"

Light grabbed L by the wrist, pushing the detective down into a sitting position. The bed was mercifully soft against L's aching body. He promptly pulled his legs to his chest in his usual squat, staring at the younger man intently.

Light placed his hands on the surface of the bed on either side of L, bending down so they could see eye-to-eye. "You're irritating," he hissed, narrowing his eyes as L's expression didn't change.

"Am I?" L tilted his head slightly to the side. "Perhaps you are just intolerant."

Light rolled his eyes, glancing at the digital clock positioned beside the bed. "Whatever. It's getting late. The other members of the task force are probably already at work by now." He turned away. "We should head downstairs."

"I'm tired," L announced, lying down on his back, nestling into the blankets, and curling up into a ball.

It stuck Light as odd for the detective to say such a thing; L was _never _tired. At least, he never admitted it openly.

"And you're in pain, too. Right?" Light asked after a pause, glancing back at L, who had entangled himself in the bed sheets.

L nodded once.

"Well… It was your fault, you know," Light muttered defensively, sitting down on the bed next to L. The chains that bound their wrists jingled irritatingly.

"Was it?" L asked absentmindedly, dark eyes gazing out the window.

"You drugged me!" Light protested.

"Yes, I did." L continued to stare at the bleak gray sky. "Do you recall when the effects began to wear off?"

"It…"

"Near the end," L interrupted, never once drawing his eyes away from the pale sky, "it was a conscious effort, was it not?"

Light the smooth-talker was now at a loss for words. He kept his mouth clamped tightly shut, telling himself that it was better to submerge himself in silence rather than stutter out lame excuses. Yes, the effects of whatever L had put in his tea had worn out about halfway through, and he had acted after that completely driven by his odd desire for dominance over L.

Nevertheless, it was a 'conscious effort' as L had said.

"Light-kun. If you want something, you should just ask." Same blank eyes. Same pale, blasé face.

"What are you implying?" Light knew exactly what L was talking about. The truth was, Light still didn't know what to say. If he admitted that he had been seized by the urge to dominate L, it would probably result in L's Kira likelihood percentages going through the roof.

"I am merely saying that asking nicely usually yields better results than using force to get what you want."

"Hah, you think we would've gotten anywhere last night if I had been _nice_?" Light clamped the palm of his hand over his mouth; what the hell was he _saying_?

L shifted position, on his back now, staring up at the white ceiling. "Well, it certainly would've been kind of you to do so." His huge eyes flickered to Light's face. "Don't you think?"

"Irritating," Light grumbled.

"Intolerant," L chimed in, engaged in a staring contest with the ceiling.

"Look," Light sighed, knowing they were getting nowhere with the incessant arguing. "Can we both just pretend nothing ever happened?"

"Why?"

"What do you mean, '_why_'?" Light pressed a palm to his still aching head, smoothing strands of wet hair back. They remained in place for a moment before falling forward, back into his face.

"If there is something you want, please feel free to ask," L muttered as his exhaustion and pain began to lull him to sleep. The bags under his eyes seemed darker today, but Light dismissed the thought. It was probably just the lighting.

Resigned, Light crawled over to his side of the bed, leaning against his pillow propped against the headboard.

"_If there is something you want…" _What the hell was that supposed to mean? The enigma lying beside Light was now breathing deeply in his sleep, wet hair sticking up in odd places.

It was odd, the way L looked when he slept. As far back as Light could remember, this was the only time he had ever seen L asleep. The detective's thumb was wedged into his mouth and his knees were tucked away against his chest, free arm wrapped around his legs.

He looked so vulnerable, so human, so mortal. So innocent.

And then, for perhaps the first time in his life, a pang of regret shuddered through Light's chest, causing him to exhale sharply at the suddenness of it all. He wanted to wish away the previous night, wash away all the bitter feelings, and clean his marred and broken slate. For the moment, it didn't matter that he had gained the upper hand, a proclamation of his power over L the night before. He felt so dirty, so _disgusting_ for harming the peacefully sleeping man chained to his wrist.

Light hesitantly wrapped an arm around L's curled up form, easily dragging the lightweight detective over to Light's side of the bed. L was now resting directly next to Light, snuggling his head into Light's leg. Light gently shifted L's head so it came to rest on Light's lap. It was rather uncomfortable, but it allowed Light to stroke L's hair while retaining full view of the detective's calm, pale face. He had no idea why the hell he was doing it; he assumed it was probably just to keep himself from sitting, completely idle, when the two of them were supposed to be working on the Kira case. L sighed softly in his sleep and mumbled an unintelligible string of words, thumb still clamped firmly in his mouth.

"I'm sorry," Light said tentatively after a long moment, still running his fingers through L's tangled, wet hair.

_Oh, what the hell. He's asleep. It's not like he can hear anything I'm saying_.

"It was such a stupid struggle for power over you, and I wish I could fix it." Light twisted a lock of L's damp hair around his finger. "I wonder if you'll ever truly forgive me for doing something so…utterly _disgusting_. I've gone and ruined everything, haven't I?"

He sat in silence for ten minutes or so, before mumbling absentmindedly, "Besides… I'd never be able to ask you for something of that caliber, if that's what you were hinting at. And you _know_ it…damn idiot. I've already ruined things enough for you. To ask anything of you would be complete unfairness."

He sighed, and silence fell again.

L's eyes flicked open suddenly, and he pulled his thumb from his mouth. "That was sweet, Light-kun."

"Wha—?" Light stammered, face paling in shock, then flushing a shade of light pink in realization. "You… You heard… What kind of bastard pretends to be asleep like that?"

"Your lap is very comfortable," L remarked, sitting up and stretching out his arms.

"Ryuzaki—"

"Light-kun is more of a coward than I had thought," L interrupted.

Light blinked, and in a split second L's face was right next to his. The detective's eyes were unnervingly wide and he spoke in a hushed voice. He looked so serious; Light suppressed the urge to laugh.

"You have taken risks before, Light-kun, have you not?"

"Well, yeah…" As his stomach lurched, Light knew where this was going.

"And they work out all right sometimes, do they not?"

"Yes…"

"And you are very intelligent, Light-kun, are you not?"

In other words, "_I'm fairly certain you've figured out what I've been hinting at. Correct?"_

"Ryuzaki?"

"Yes?" L's dark eyes were focused intently on Light.

"You think too much. _You _should've just asked."

"I—"

He fell silent immediately as Light hooked an arm around the back of L's head, reeling him in close. As Light pressed himself against L's frail, slender body and closed the gap between their mouths, he promised himself that it would be different this time. His movements were gentle instead of aggressive as he eased his mouth over L's. As Light slowly pulled away, L drew a shaky breath, opening his mouth to speak.

"Light-kun, I—_mmph_…" His words were cut off as Light's lips returned to his.

"Ryuzaki, there are some things you aren't supposed to think about," Light said gently, kissing L's forehead. "I suppose you're confused, right?"

"Yes…"

"Scared?" Light whispered into his ear, sending tremors down L's spine.

"Y-Yes…"

Light's lips traveled to L's neck, placing feather-light kisses as he worked his way down. L's composure had officially gone to hell, and he was no longer even attempting to calm his racing heart.

"Happy?" Light murmured into the hollow at the base of L's neck.

"Ah—" L grabbed a fistful of Light's wet auburn hair. The younger man lifted his head, and L seized his chance, clumsily capturing Light's lips in a sloppy kiss. As he pulled away, L whispered between staggered breaths, "Y-Yes… I am…"

And thus the game began—the game that would constantly invoke self-doubt and second-guesses, leading them hand-in-hand through their insecurities and into the hazy, uncharted territory on the borderline of what might have been "love."

- - -

**A/N: As MUCH as I would've liked Watari to kick Light's ass… Fluff better. Maybe I'll draw a comic of Watari beating the crap out of poor Light… Heheh… XD**

**This chapter was kind of rushed, sorry, I've been really busy. x.x**

**However – I HAS EVIL PLOT TWIST ahead, so I'll get to writing that ASAP. **

**Thanks for reading! :D**


	5. V: Suspicion

_**Here Lies Justice**_

_Chapter V: Suspicion_

- - -

L's eyes fluttered open, and his disorientation settled in as he juggled his thoughts—what time was it? How long had they been locked up in their room? Had someone called them or knocked on their door? Had anyone contacted Watari to question their whereabouts? Were the other task force members suspicious of L and Light's absence?

He groaned, snuggling against the warm body beside him in an attempt to drown his thoughts.

_Light._

Just what he needed—_another _headache.

Things definitely weren't working out the way L had planned; he had done what he _knew _would be the death of him, the very thing he had so painstakingly tried to bury forever. He had tried so hard to keep them away, and yet somehow his emotions had surfaced and shattered his carefully constructed mask of composure.

The happiness flooding his insides was very temporary, and L knew it. He knew that, in the end, he would have to choose between Light and Justice, and it pained him terribly to think about such a decision.

_What's _wrong_ with me? I've become infatuated with a murderer, _L berated himself, _a handsome, charismatic murderer, but a murderer nonetheless. And he's sleeping with me—the man whose duty is to prove him guilty and have him arrested._

The way L saw it, they were both totally screwed.

The level of his insecurity was almost painful.

_Yagami Light…_

_How do _you _feel?_

L's stomach sank as he struggled to ignore the thought that Light might be using him, taking advantage of the emotions L had tried so hard to conceal. To break his heart into a million pieces, in more ways than one.

L couldn't quite determine whether or not Light was simply using him, or whether their time spent together actually had meaning.

"Ryuzaki," Light murmured, not opening his eyes. "You're thinking hard about something."

L exhaled sharply, uncoiling himself so that he was no longer curled up into a ball. Stretching his sleep-ridden limbs out, he muttered, "How do you know what's going on inside my head, Light-kun?"

"Your breathing was different…" Light muttered sleepily, slowly opening one eye to stare at L. "When you're thinking, it's like you almost forget to breathe, until you realize you need air."

He squeezed L around the stomach. "I can feel your weird little breathing pattern. What are you thinking about?"

_Temporary—this feeling is temporary. This happiness is temporary. He and I are temporary. When all is said and done, I am merely an obstacle in his way, and he will kill me as mercilessly as any who oppose him._

"Light-kun," L spoke softly, fixing his dark eyes on Light. "What are we?"

"We…?" Light blinked the sleepiness out of his eyes, careful not to let his guard down. His mind was frantically jerking itself out of sleep mode as he struggled to decipher the meaning in L's question; was it a trick, was he expecting Light to say a certain thing…?

"We're…humans, aren't we?" He blinked; was that the answer L was looking for?

"Light-kun, when you are tired, you say very strange things." A hint of amusement had crept into L's voice. "I meant us. The two of us."

L sat up abruptly, leaning so close to Light that the tips of their noses almost touched. He scrutinized Light through wide, reflective eyes—two ebony mirrors, two endless pitfalls. L stared with such intensity that the next words out of his mouth seemed absolutely absurd.

"Light-kun, are you my boyfriend?"

Light couldn't suppress his laughter. The word "boyfriend" on L's tongue sounded so foreign, so _awkward_. The brunette clutched at his sides as his laughter became almost painful. Fighting back occasional giggles, Light managed to calm himself down and look L seriously in the eyes.

"Why is it funny?" L sounded so downright dejected; Light desperately fought back the urge to tackle L onto his back and smother him in kisses.

"It's…just such an unfitting word for you to say," Light replied, gazing up at the ceiling. "And to ask such a thing… It's hardly appropriate, considering I'm your primary Kira suspect."

_Of course it will end with a choice between Light and my morals—a choice between Kira and Justice._

"Light-kun…" L toyed with the chain connecting their wrists. "Are you…"

He recalled a conversation they once had regarding Light's relationship with Misa.

"_I'm sorry, but you need to understand. To me, taking advantage of a person's feelings like that is the most despicable thing a person can do."_

L also had to take into account the fact that, like himself, Light was constantly telling lies.

"…acting like this to lure you into trusting me?" Light finished for him. "That's what you're thinking, isn't it?"

L silently gripped the bed sheets in his fists.

_Yagami Light has seen my thought process, as I had predicted he would. If he would so openly reveal that he knows I am thinking this way, wouldn't it be safe to assume that he would not be doing this to take advantage of me? Or perhaps he has revealed this information to trap me into thinking like this and letting my guard down…_

_Either way, I cannot trust Yagami Light._

"Ryuzaki," Light interjected after a long silence, "I'm not Kira."

_But you're a liar._

"I don't want to hurt you."

_But you're a liar._

"We're partners in this case, we're joined at the wrists, we're… Well, I don't exactly know what we are, but in any case, we should trust each other."

_But you're a liar._

"Also," Light continued, glancing at the bedside clock, "it's three in the afternoon, so we should probably get dressed and head downstairs for work. They've probably been wondering."

_Damn._

They both stood simultaneously, chain stretching across the bed between them. Each began to dress in his respective clothing; L went digging through the haphazard pile of white shirts and jeans on the floor and Light began to carefully select an outfit from his closet. Suddenly, they both turned to face each other.

"Ryuzaki—"

"Light-kun—"

They called each other simultaneously.

L jammed his fists into the pockets of his jeans, bowing his head. "You first, Light-kun."

"No, what were you going to say?"

"It was nothing. What were you about to tell me?"

"Nothing important," Light remarked, turning back to the task at hand.

"I see."

Neither decided to press the matter.

Both had decided that it would be dangerous and tactless to carelessly throw the word "love" around.

- - -

All heads turned as the chained couple descended the stairs to the main investigation room.

"Ryuzaki! Light-kun!" Matsuda greeted them cheerily. "Where were you guys?"

"Sleeping," Light responded as L said, "working." Their replies were simultaneous and completely contradictory; suspicious glances were exchanged between members of the investigation team.

"I was sleeping and Ryuzaki was working," Light smoothly covered for their mistake.

Matsuda was the only one who looked convinced.

L jumped onto the swivel chair positioned in front of the wall of monitors, squatting into his signature crouch the moment his feet hit the upholstery. Light took the seat beside him, taking care to keep his distance from L to keep everyone else's suspicions as low as possible.

"Were there any new developments during our absence?" L asked dully, fiddling with the handcuff around his wrist.

The "no" in response was completely expected.

"But we expanded the list of Kira victims," Matsuda babbled to prove that _something _had been accomplished during their absence. "We have new names."

Light hovered behind L, staring over the detective's shoulder at the computer in front of them. The chained men reached out for the mouse at the same time, resulting in L's hand resting on Light's hand resting on the mouse.

When he felt the warmth of L's hand against his own, Light quickly withdrew, knocking the mouse off of the desk. It hung, suspended by its cord, swinging like a pendulum.

Light mumbled a forced "sorry" and reached out to return the mouse to its proper place. At the same time, L, who had only good intentions, also reached out for the mouse, invoking another collision between their hands.

"Damn it, Ryuzaki!" Light hissed as he jerked his hand away again. "Don't _do _that!"

L serenely placed the mouse back on the desktop, calmly clicking open the file Matsuda had indicated. "Sincerest apologies, Light-kun."

It _did _sound sincere, but Light knew it was dripping with amusement and sarcasm. He had almost always managed to maintain a level head, no matter what the situation.

_Almost _always, with L being the exception.

Matsuda's eyes were flickering back and forth between the chained combination of detective and suspect. Light seemed incredibly edgy today, especially around L, which heightened Matsuda's curiosity and excitement. He knew _something _had happened between the two of them—a fight? Or…

"We've done background checks on the victims and couldn't find any correlation between them," Aizawa commented, staring over L's shoulder at the information displayed on the monitor.

"I see," L replied, gnawing on his thumbnail. He and Light were constantly eyeing the clock as the day dragged itself out, one painstaking second at a time. The members of the team had dispersed, each working at his own computer.

"Light-kun, what do you think of this?" L asked monotonously, pointing a pale, bony finger at his computer screen.

Light scooted his swivel chair closer to L, leaning in close to read the small text.

"Can we make them leave early today?" L murmured into Light's ear, words too soft to be distinguishable by any of the other task force members. "I'm tired of getting nowhere."

L was bored. _L_ was _bored_ with the _Kira case_.

It was so absurd that Light almost laughed, but he knew it would give away their whispered conversation. He stretched his arm across to reach the keyboard and typed out a response at the bottom of the open document L was examining.

'_What, the infamous L prefers fun in bed to detective work? God forbid.'_

L, nibbling his nail, typed out a painstakingly slow response with only his left index finger.

'_I am merely stating that it is pointless to occupy ourselves with chasing our own tails and following false leads spurred on by boredom. We need to locate a correlation between the Kira victims to pinpoint the relative age or status of whoever is doing the killing in order to narrow down our range of possible—'_

Light pushed L's hand aside, typing his own response.

'_So you're saying we need to wait for MORE people to die in order to help us determine the spectrum of people who could possibly be Kira? If there hasn't been a connection in the killings up until now, what makes you think there will ever be?'_

Still biting his nail, L typed a one-fingered response again.

'_There have been quite a few deaths in high ranking positions of major companies, but the killings are not high enough in numbers to be called a "lead," and we can't just jump to conclusions.'_

Light typed out a response.

'_Well, in any case, it will seem suspicious if you stop working right now and call it a day. We didn't even get to work until around 3:00, and if we leave early, everyone else will just be more suspicious. If any of them found out about what we've been doing, the results would be disastrous. So we should—'_

"Ryuzaki, Light-kun, want some coffee?" The sudden appearance of Matsuda behind them caused both L and Light to flinch. "I was just about to make some, so I was just wondering…"

And since the words at the beginning of their onscreen conversation were _"What, the infamous L prefers fun in bed to detective work?", _both decided that it was in their best interest to close the window as soon as possible. If Matsuda caught a glimpse of the first comment, neither Light nor L would ever be able to live it down. And, of course, even if they swore him to secrecy, tactless Matsuda would someday, somehow let it slip that Light and L had been sleeping together.

_Oh. Shit._

With a loud jangle of chains, L and light both lunged for the keyboard, frantically seeking out the Alt and F4 buttons.

"Guys…?"

Then came the inevitable popup of "Do you want to save the changes to _Kira Victims 2004_?" which caught both men off-guard for a split second in their flustered state.

L quickly pressed the right arrow key to switch the selected option to "no" and then slammed down on the enter button.

Light and L simultaneously turned their swivel chairs to face Matsuda, forcing their expressions to betray nothing.

But the look on Matsuda's face confirmed their fears. Dread etched itself subtly into L and Light's eyes before sinking down into their stomachs. Even in their near-panicked states, both remained impressively impassive.

Matsuda opened his mouth to speak, but was silenced by L.

"Yes, coffee please, Matsuda-san."

"Ah… Right."

"Thank you, Matsuda-san."

Matsuda shot Light a strange look somewhere between a blend of confusion, amusement, and expectancy. It was a "you're going to tell me what happened between you guys, with every excruciating detail included" kind of look.

L glanced around the room; when he confirmed that everyone else was working, he turned back to Light.

"What are we going to do about him, Light-kun?" L asked dismally, keeping his voice extremely low.

Aizawa heard speech and glanced up, noticing Light and L huddled together in whispered conversation. He couldn't tell what they were saying, but he guessed they were arguing over some piece of evidence. They were _constantly_ arguing, so he kept half an eye on them to make sure they wouldn't start beating each other up.

"Matsuda likes me; everything will be fine." Keeping his voice low, Light turned his attention back to his own computer. "I'll just tell him to keep it a secret. It's not like there's any point in lying to him, since he obviously read something incriminating."

"You shouldn't have deemed it a typed conversation to begin with," L muttered, reaching for a conveniently placed bag of marshmallows that was sitting on the desk. "Because when you type it, you leave evidence for wandering eyes."

"At least they couldn't _hear_ us when we were typing to each other," Light replied sullenly.

L shoved a large marshmallow into his mouth, chewing on it thoughtfully. Between bites, he replied, "I suppose so. We'll return to working on the case for the rest of the day, then."

"Right."

Time passed at its normal rate; the dread of facing Matsuda cancelled out Light's desperation for the day to end. And finally, the inevitable moment came; when the rest of the team members were departing, Matsuda approached the chain-linked men sitting beside each other.

"Hello, Matsuda-san," L greeted him calmly, staring at the blank computer screen intently. Neither of them turned to face Matsuda.

"Hey, Matsuda, you leaving?" Aizawa poked his head back into the room.

"Yeah, I'll be gone in a minute." Matsuda turned back to face Light, eyes aglow with excitement. "So, you two are…"

"Would you like a marshmallow, Matsuda-san?" L asked loudly, drowning out the end of Matsuda's sentence.

"Er… No, thanks…"

"Matsuda." Light slowly spun his chair around, looking Matsuda in the eyes. "You will _not _speak a word to _anyone _about this, understand?"

Matsuda nodded hastily, eyes darting between Light and L. "So… Er… Congratulations, I guess?"

_Congratulations…? I'd hardly call this a cause for celebration. It'll be the death of both of us…_ L glanced at Light, looking for a reaction, but the brunette remained pokerfaced.

"You're going to leave now, right?" Light asked rather impatiently.

"Ah, yes. Good night Ryuzaki, Light-kun." Matsuda turned and hurried out the door.

Once the door had swung shut, Light exhaled deeply, relaxing in his chair. "Watari's the only one with access to the information on the security cameras, correct?"

"Yes."

"So we're safe?"

"Yes."

"Good."

Light stood up, closing the distance between their chairs. He settled himself into L's lap, straddling the detective's hips.

"Light-kun," L whispered, "not here… We should still…"

The rest of his words were cut off as Light captured L's lips, exploring the older man's mouth with his tongue. L knotted his hands in Light's hair and responded with equal vigor; Light had always known L had a talented tongue, a tongue that could tie cherry stems into knots…

"Sorry guys, I forgot my—_woah_!" Matsuda had appeared at the door and was stopped in his tracks by the scene unfolding before him. He felt _extremely _awkward, and he took a reflexive step backwards.

"_Fuck! _Matsuda!" Light jumped off of L; the force sent L's chair wheeling back several meters, coming to a stop with a gentle _bump _against the wall. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I was just…" Matsuda looked extremely flustered as his eyes flickered from Light to L. "I forgot my coat…"

Light stormed over to the couch very unhappily, grabbing the coat that was slung over its arm. He tossed it to Matsuda.

"Not a word," Light hissed.

Matsuda nodded vigorously, donning his coat and fleeing.

L stood up, wheeling his chair back to its place in front of the desk. He silently grabbed Light's hand, pulling him along in the direction of the kitchen. As an afterthought, L snatched the unfinished bag of marshmallows from the tabletop with his free hand.

Light smirked, raising a brow. "Marshmallows? _Whipped cream_,Ryuzaki?"

"Yes. I'm hungry," L replied, spraying a tuft of whipped cream onto the top of a marshmallow as the innuendo went right over his head.

"…Oh."

Proven genius, world's greatest detective, criminal catching mastermind—and yet, there was still _much _he had to learn.

- - -

**A/N: Sorry, sorry. I just had to have poor Matsuda walk in on them. XD**

**The ending of this chapter might seem kinda abrupt… I've been having a writer's block lately and wanted to update, so I rushed most of it. Not really any plot here either, besides Matsuda discovering some **_**thiiings**_**…which, if I write according to what I have planned, will be important in the future. XD**

**Well, thanks so much for reading, and thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter! You guys are awesome! :D**


	6. VI: Shatter

_**Here Lies Justice**_

_Chapter VI: Shatter_

- - -

It didn't all happen in the bedroom; Light and L would go out together occasionally, although it was a strange sight to see two grown men handcuffed together in public. They usually kept to themselves, preferring to stay at the investigation headquarters.

Time spent in bed was always a battle for dominance, as each one hated to lose (and losing meant taking it up the ass, which added to the desire for victory). L was no longer as inexperienced and defenseless as he once was, and usually topped at least three, if not four, nights per week. It was by all means a sick kind of _fight_, and it would get extremely violent at times; sometimes the bruises were difficult to hide, but it was a battle born from mutual consent. Despite the animalistic desire for victory, they would always end up in each other's arms when all was said and done, murmuring words of affection into each other's ears.

It was an odd relationship that had sprouted from an even odder beginning; L sometimes felt himself asking why he had feelings for Light. What had really sparked the start, adding fuel to the tiny ember that had nestled itself somewhere into L's heart? It was the drugged sex, of course, that had opened his eyes.

Because through all the pain and the "stop it"s, L knew that some part of his consciousness wanted it; a part of him had _enjoyed _it to some masochistic extent. As he had begged for Light to stop, his _rational _side had voiced itself that night and had promptly gone off and killed itself, because nothing L ever did these days was rational. He was sleeping with his suspect, who was being held under twenty-four hours a day of surveillance due to incredibly high suspicions of him being a mass murderer.

If the whole thing was a plot to draw L's attention away from the Kira case, then it was working.

Had Light's memories remained intact, it would have been.

But it wasn't.

Neither of them had planned on something like this happening. It had simply been out of both their realms of possibility. But now it was everything.

It was as if L had spat in the face of Justice and knifed it through the back, sending it plummeting to its grave.

- - -

"Light-kun?" L called out in the dark, wondering if the brunette was awake.

"Mmhmm?" Light grunted in response, extremely worn out and mildly annoyed by L's interruption of what had almost been sleep.

"If you were Kira, would you tell me?"

"If I were Kira…" Light mumbled into his pillow, "then that would be pretty stupid of me…wouldn't it? No, of course I wouldn't tell you…if I were Kira…"

"Are you?"

"Ryuzaki…" Light allowed himself a small sliver of a smile. "No. I'm not."

L was constantly forcing Light to say those words, to somewhat quell the fears embedded deep in his brain. The percentages were staggering, branded across L's mind, glaringly obvious.

He wanted their "temporary" to be "forever," and so, out of his own selfish desires, he pushed aside the fact that he thought—that he _knew_—Light was Kira.

- - -

They had been together for several weeks now, and the entire investigation team knew _something _suspicious was going on. Light and L disappeared for rather long stretches of time under the excuse of one of them "having to go to the bathroom." Whenever they excused themselves, Light would shoot Matsuda a dangerous "keep your mouth shut" look.

Matsuda never said a word; he wanted Light and L to be happy, and he hadn't taken into consideration the fact that their relationship was damaging the status of the investigation. If it had been anyone besides Matsuda, they would have been in trouble.

Thankfully, Matsuda meant well and was also a bit ditzy.

And so it continued—frequent disappearances by day, "epic" battles by night, subtle "accidentally on purpose" brushing of each other's hands at work…

And yet, despite the hours upon hours of being together, the sense of affection they both felt for each other, and the countless number of times they fell asleep in each other's arms, neither of them ever uttered an "I love you." Ever. Perhaps it sounded too much like a promise, like an "even if you are my enemy, I would never do anything to hurt you." And perhaps that _was _how L felt, but nothing was guaranteed.

L sometimes wondered if he loved Light. Yes, he was truly spellbound, completely infatuated—but what was _love_? Was it the heat of their bodies pressed together, the choppy rhythm of their staggered breaths as they battled in the most intimate of ways? Or perhaps it was the gentle way they held each other afterwards, hands searching each other for any injuries inflicted during the sex beforehand? Was it the warmth that left L's head spinning every time he caught himself staring at Light instead of his computer screen?

Or perhaps it was the way he was filled with utmost despair as he reminded himself of the dangerously high percentages of Light being Kira. When all was said and done, L always found himself wondering if he would choose to stay by the side of Justice. Would he maintain his sense of righteousness, or would he discard his pride, status, and morals to plunge himself into the darkness ironically named Light?

He wished he could have both. He _wanted _to believe Light's firm denial of being Kira. L silently begged Light to be innocent, screaming inside but never speaking his mind; _please _be innocent, _please_ stay with me, _please _capture Kira with me…

But murderers don't care whether or not you say "please."

And so, it was always the same unsettling question running around his head;

_What the hell am I going to do?_

- - -

L couldn't help being insecure; he constantly expected his little world to meet a cataclysmic and painful end. He had dreams often—_horrible_ dreams that woke him up with roiling waves of nausea. His nightmares always followed the same pattern, the same dialogue, the same painful end.

"_Ryuzaki," Light would whisper between kisses, "L. Whatever the hell your name is. The name you thought you could hide forever…"_

_Light's hands would always be cold against L's bare skin, nothing like their real-life counterparts. "…The name you thought you would take with you to your grave…"_

_Light would then kiss him one final time, murmuring against L's lips, "L…Lawliet…"_

_And then a surge of unfathomable, unimaginable pain would sear through L's chest as he met the same heart attack induced end in each of his nightmares. Stronger still was the sense of betrayal, the absolute desperation that would spike L straight through his sabotaged heart. In response to Light's utterance of his true name, L would respond, almost challengingly, with the dreaded identity of his lover—a hoarse whisper of "Kira…" as his final breaths were swept away by his aching, failing heart._

L would wake, breathing heavily, heart pounding. He would glance beside him at Light, who would always be sleeping peacefully. L would assure himself that there was no way in hell that Light would do such a thing to him, because Light simply _wasn't _Kira, but the insecurities came back to haunt him again sooner or later.

"Light-kun…" L would murmur into the dark once his breathing was calmer, savoring the taste of his lover's name on his tongue.

Sometimes Light would hear his name, but would be too exhausted to respond. He would lay in silence, listening intently as he rested on the border between awake and asleep.

"I think I love you," L would murmur softly, toying with strands of Light's auburn hair.

In English, naturally—so Light couldn't understand.

- - -

Eventually it happened—the event that shook the foundation of L's world to its very core, although it was far from what he had expected. No, there were no revelations involving Light's true identity, but what did happen was devastating enough.

It all began with a trip to the local candy store.

"Light-kun, can we go buy candy?"

"Ryuzaki, it's the middle of the day," Light muttered, rubbing the back of his head. "And we're supposed to be working."

"Please?"

Light was then subjected to the onslaught of L's enormous, pleading eyes. He succumbed almost immediately; Light could be a total ass sometimes, but he had certain soft spots he tried (and failed) to hide. So, within seconds of Light's grudging reply of "yes, _fine_," L had Watari on the phone, asking for a ride to the candy store.

"Why don't you ever drive yourself?" Light asked, somewhat irked by L's apparent laziness.

"I _can't_ drive, Light-kun," L replied blankly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

But it did make sense once Light thought about it; no one in their right mind would give L a driver's license. He amused himself with the thought for a moment before interjecting, "Well, _I _can drive. You don't have to make Watari do such trivial things."

Light generally disliked Watari's presence, partly because he knew Watari pretty much hated him, and partly because Light preferred to be alone with L.

"Watari insists on coming," L replied. "He believes my judgment of you is…" His brow furrowed. "…_flawed_…and he wants to keep an eye on you while we're out."

"I understand," Light grumbled as he and L headed to the door.

"Light-kun and I are going out," L announced to the task force.

No one questioned them anymore; the entire team had given up on it. By now, everyone had a pretty good idea of what was going on between Light and L, and everyone had decided it best to leave certain things unsaid.

Their trip to the candy store was uneventful; L had spent the better half of an hour gleefully perusing the endless rows of sweets. When they exited the store, L was carrying four enormous plastic bags, each full to the brim with assorted treats. It was a wonder that L never got fat, considering he practically ate his weight in sugar every day.

The detective had bought a gigantic multicolored lollipop and was sucking on it delightedly during the car ride back to the investigation headquarters. Despite the slight level of disgust he felt at the amount of candy L had purchased, Light found it amusing to stare.

He managed to draw his eyes away for a few minutes, glancing out the window. Dusk was beginning to fall, bathing the world in hazy gray as the sun disappeared below the horizon line. Light's gaze shifted and fell on a black van a few hundred meters away. It was swerving drunkenly between lanes, coming closer with every passing second.

L noticed the steadily approaching vehicle as well, clutching his lollipop stick hard, knuckles white with the effort. His complete trust was placed in Watari; he was an excellent driver, and L assured himself that they would pass the swerving van unharmed.

It was so close now that L could see the driver; a pudgy black-haired kid who looked to be about Light's age, maybe younger. He was grinning broadly and clutching a bottle filled with what was undoubtedly alcohol, due to the erratic swerving of the vehicle he was poorly piloting. His attention was drawn away from the road as he shoved off his friends who were harassing him from the back seat, trying to wrestle the bottle from his hand. The kid's actions spelled out doom as he fully turned around to shout something to his friends, catching the steering wheel on his fat, stubby arm as he turned.

Simultaneously, Light and L opened their mouths to say something, anything, as their eyes tracked the final, jerky swerve of the van as it rammed into their car's right side, shattering the window next to L's head. There was nothing that could have stopped it, nothing Watari could have done, nothing anyone could have done.

_Damn kids._

Glass was strewn across the floor, scraping the side of L's face as it exploded from its former position as a window. The force of the crash sent L flying across the seat to the left. His head landed in Light's lap as a faint line of blood from the biting glass trickled down the side of his face. Aside from small assorted cuts and scratches, L was fine, just shaken up a bit from shock.

Light, however, was not as lucky. Pain seeped to the very core of his skull as he collided with the window beside him, creating spiderweb cracks in the glass. The noise his head made upon collision was sickening, and L flinched as it met his ears.

Light only vaguely felt the warm, wet sensation of blood soaking his hair before he lost consciousness. The last thing he saw, as he stared dizzily down into his lap, was L's panicked face.

"Ambulance!" L shrieked, completely losing composure at the sight of his lover bleeding from the head. "Watari! Call a fucking _ambulance_!"

Watari's right arm hung at an awkward angle, probably broken, but he seemed otherwise unscathed. Biting back the pain spreading through his ruined arm, he snapped his phone open and dialed.

L could have called using his own phone, but he had forgotten about it in his panicked frenzy. His first thought was that Light was going to die, and despite Watari's attempts at reassurance, L refused to calm down and regain his composure.

It seemed to L like hours as he sat there, cradling Light's limp body in his arms, watching blood ooze from the brunette's head with a mixed sensation of horror and relief. It sickened him, but as long as Light continued to bleed, L knew he was alive.

After Light was hauled into the ambulance, the following events merged together in blurred sequence. It felt like several more hours passed before they reached the hospital, and the next thing L remembered was arguing with the nurse.

"I'm afraid you're going to have to leave." The nurse was eyeing the chain connecting L's wrist to Light's.

"No," L replied faintly, barely able to hear his own voice over the blood pounding in his ears. His pulse hadn't calmed itself since the crash.

"I cannot allow you in here at this time," the nurse insisted.

"No," L replied, firmly this time. "My suspect is bleeding from the head. Please give him medical attention."

"Sir, you have to—"

"No," L interrupted. "Medical attention. Now, please."

- - -

Of _course _L had gotten what he wanted, simply because he was so irritating and persistent.

He was sitting in a chair pulled up beside the hospital bed, biting his lip so hard that it had begun to bleed. A solitary drop of crimson dribbled down his chin, and he wiped it away with his sleeve, keeping bloodshot eyes on Light at all times. L's hand was grasping Light's; he wanted to be by Light's bedside when the boy woke up.

There were still shards of glass shimmering in L's charcoal hair, and dried blood was smeared across his cheek, but he had refused medical attention for his minor injuries. His eyes flicked back and forth, from the bandages wrapped around Light's head to the brunette's closed eyes. Hospital personnel had long since given up on attempting to usher the stubborn detective out of the room.

Hours passed, and L's hand never strayed from Light's. He was sitting up completely straight, extremely uncharacteristic in his fretful state. He hung onto every breath, watching Light's chest rise and fall as he inhaled and exhaled.

The knot in L's stomach finally unwound when Light let out a small groan, eyes fluttering open.

"Light-kun!" L gasped, squeezing his hand hard. He had never been more relieved in his life. His previous insecurities were out of sight and out of mind; to _hell _with Kira. All that mattered now was that Light was okay—everything was going to be okay.

"Light-kun…" L whispered again, shoulders slumping into his usual slouch as he finally relaxed.

Light's gaze settled lazily on L, and the younger man's brow furrowed in confusion. L caught the odd look in Light's eyes and frowned, slackening his grip on Light's hand. The next words out of Light's mouth were so scarring, so unexpected, and they shattered L's precariously balanced heart into a million tiny pieces like the broken glass that littered the worry-stricken detective's hair. It hurt more than any Kira confession ever could.

"Who the hell are _you_?"

- - -

**A/N: I know. I know. Amnesia is a **_**lovely **_**plot device. –sadistic grin- (Hey, I even read up on it – I even know what **_**kind **_**of amnesia he has! At least…I **_**think **_**I know what I'm talking about. And yes, yes, I know what you're probably thinking…)**

"_**-collective gasp- You evil bitch!"**_

**But come on, honestly—**_**something **_**had to happen to our poor couple and their fucked up little relationship! Mmm, PLOT! :D So yeah, please don't come after me with your torches and pitchforks… Go kill the little drunken bastards who were driving the van! **_**Rawr!**_** Ehh, maybe they already died in the crash. Use your imaginations. XD**

**So, then—will Light's memory be regained? Is L doomed to eternal suffering or will a certain fanfic writer finally show some mercy? And **_**–le gasp!– **_**what about their **_**relationship**_**?**

**All questions shall be answered sooner or later, so I'll get down to writing the next chapter right away.**

**(****BEFORE YOU KILL ME - I dunno if I have the heart to end this whole thing tragically, so you're probably in luck. So no flames please?**** :D)**


	7. VII: Smitten

_**Here Lies Justice**_

_Chapter VII: Smitten_

- - -

"It's a case of retrograde amnesia," the doctor announced, scribbling on his clipboard.

L had sewn his devastated expression back into something that only remotely resembled composure. It was as if someone had flicked a switch off behind his eyes, shutting off the reflective qualities of those abyssal pools of black. He looked deader than usual, ivory skin extra pale, lips pressed together in a thin, grim line.

"Retrograde…" L murmured. It was more of a statement than the question it was intended to be.

"In some cases, retrograde amnesia can cover just a few minutes of memory. In others, it can cover months or even years. Memory loss is most severe for the events just prior to the accident and decreases systematically the further back in time the accident occurred." When the doctor had finished his textbook recital, his gaze fell on Light's hand in L's. "I don't know how long you and your…_friend_…have known each other, but he has obviously lost his memories up to or past the point where you two met."

Light jerked his hand away from L's, looking rather uncomfortable. "We're friends?"

The million pieces of L's shattered heart all split in two once again as L whispered his response, each word like a knife grinding into his chest. "Yes, Light-kun. You're my friend." Each word got progressively softer, until "_friend"_ was nearly inaudible.

He wanted to scream it, wanted to stand up and point at Light, chain jingling between their wrists as he cried, "_No, no, for god's sake, NO! You're my lover! We sleep together! You share my sweets and go out to candy stores with me and hold me at night!"_

But he didn't. He reached mechanically into his jeans pocket, pulling out his phone and flipping it open, holding it precariously between his thumb and forefinger.

The doctor began to protest, "No cell ph—"

"Hello, Watari," L declared loudly into his phone, drowning out the rest of the doctor's sentence. "Please tell Yagami-san that Light-kun is suffering from amnesia but is otherwise perfectly fine."

There was a pause as L listened. He clenched his teeth and replied defiantly to whatever Watari had said with the words, "Yes, I am."

A longer pause ensued, followed by a whisper-quiet utterance of the English words, "Yes…he did."

L snapped his phone shut without so much as a "goodbye," turning his lifeless eyes on Light.

"Your father is worried about you. Do you remember your father?"

"Yes," Light responded immediately. "Of course."

The doctor, having no interest in getting involved in a personal conversation between the two odd handcuffed boys, walked out of the room, closing the door softly behind him.

Despite the emptiness of the room, L lowered his voice as a precaution. "Do you know who Kira is?"

"Kira is a murderer," Light responded without hesitation.

"Do you know who _I _am?" L asked.

Light squinted, as if it would somehow help him remember more clearly. "No."

"I am L. Does that have any significance to you?"

"L…" Light murmured, eyes lingering on the blood smeared across L's pale face and the glass littering his tangled charcoal hair. "_You're _the world's greatest detective?"

"You flatter me." L didn't sound flattered. He sounded dead.

"You and I are working together to capture Kira, along with your father and a few others," L continued.

"Okay. So…why are we handcuffed together?" Light held up his left arm, inspecting the silvery chain connecting their wrists. "Some…weird fetish of yours?"

"You are under twenty-four hours a day surveillance due to your status as my prime Kira suspect," L responded mechanically, sounding more emotionless than usual. It was oddly easy to keep a calm outwards appearance despite the turmoil raging through L's insides.

"The _hell_?" Light gasped, recoiling from L's listless gaze. "How could I possibly be _Kira_?"

"There is a five percent chance that you are, or were, Kira."

The real truth was, L was a liar; in reality, "five percent" meant that his suspicions were well above ninety percent.

_This could be for the best. If all ties to Light are cut, I can refocus on the case. Perhaps it's all for the best…_

"L…"

"You are to call me Ryuzaki while we work on this case."

"Fine, Ryuzaki. But why _handcuffs_?" Light asked, bewildered, staring at the manacle around his wrist.

"It's practical," L mumbled, quickly changing the subject. "You should get some rest."

"Right." Light shot L an odd look, laying his head down carefully and wincing as soon as it made contact with his pillow. "And no more holding my hand, okay? It's kind of…_weird_. It's bad enough that you've handcuffed us together."

Something broke inside L again as he murmured his reply of, "Yes, Light-kun."

As if on cue, L's phone vibrated in his pocket, signaling a call from Watari.

"Yes, Watari?" L forced his words mechanically in English, sounding more listless than usual.

"…Yes, I told you I'm perfectly fine." L kept throwing glances in Light's direction. His eyes were closed, but L couldn't tell if he was asleep.

Light was, in fact, listening intently to L's end of the conversation, attempting to decipher the words with his feeble English skills. There was a pause, and L began to speak rapidly, sounding agitated.

"I told you not to tell _anyone_," L spoke in a hushed voice. "That includes _him_. You never liked it from the beginning. I would've thought you'd be happy now."

Pause.

"No, I _don't _intend to tell him."

Pause.

"To hell with Matsuda. He's not the issue right now."

Light only caught the gist of it; he guessed they were talking about him, and he knew L was upset; he could conclude that simply from L's tone of voice. The speed with which L spoke made it hard for Light to understand most of it; however, he was able to figure out that there was something L wasn't telling him. Relatively satisfied with the information he had gained and prepared to question L about it later, Light allowed his exhausted body to submerge itself in sleep.

"Watari, I refuse to choose my own happiness over the safety of the world." L was finding it increasingly difficult to quell his emotions. What had he let Light _do _to him? He felt incredibly vulnerable, like a bundle of nerves with a time bomb attached, ticking down the seconds to its demise.

"Watari." L cut him off mid-sentence, slumping back into the chair by Light's bedside. "I have to go."

His phone fell to the ground with a clatter and his gaze fell on the ceiling. He realized with utmost horror that his eyes were beginning to water, and quickly covered his face with his hands, feeling like a complete fool. As far back as L could remember, he had never once cried. He had never _once _allowed himself to sink into despair, because there was always a logical, sensible solution to everything.

There was nothing logical or sensible about his feelings for Yagami Light.

_I am L. I am the world's greatest detective. To say such a thing is not arrogance; it is fact. Therefore, being the intelligent individual that I am, I should not be wasting my time wallowing in misery like a pathetic love-struck schoolgirl. I am L. I will pull myself together and continue with the Kira investigation._

"Light-kun," L murmured into the silence, repeating the English words he would whisper every night to his sleeping lover, clinging to their sentimental value. Speaking those words was his only consolation—the one thing that proved to him that they had once been together.

"I think I love you."

- - -

It was so _odd, _so surreal; L had never heard of anything like this happening in real life. Sure, maybe in some weird movies, like that god-awful romantic comedy he had gone to with Light and Misa so long ago. Head blow, amnesia—it was a bunch of clichéd big screen bullshit.

Right?

And _love, _too. Ridiculous.

L had never relied so much on the presence and care of a single human, and he now knew why. He had always thought of love as a stupid, foolish thing to occupy oneself with; there was no need for the pain and complications that inevitably followed such reckless behavior. He and Light would sit side-by-side at their respective computers, chained together but worlds apart. He longed for Light to stand too close, longed to feel the boy breathing against him, longed for any kind of subtle touch.

He was now able to understand why people acted so rashly at times, influenced by such a strange, twisted emotion. It was one of the worst feelings he had ever experienced—feeling cornered and tied up by his affection. It was almost as bad as the time Light asked L what he thought it would feel like to be suspected of being Kira.

"_That feels terrible."_

Every member of the investigation team felt an extreme drop in enthusiasm at the sight of their leader silently tearing himself up over Light's loss of memory. One day, Matsuda decided to approach them, feeling the sullenness practically radiating from the raven-haired detective. He stood awkwardly, fiddling with his tie as he searched for the right words.

"Ah… Light-kun," he began, fidgeting uncomfortably, "I know you lost all your memories of Ryuzaki, but…uhm… You should probably know… Well, you two were… I mean…"

"Matsuda," L interrupted forcefully, keeping his eyes glued to his computer screen. "Don't say stupid things."

Matsuda averted his eyes and turned away, mumbling an apology. He didn't like watching L suffer any more than the rest of the investigation team did.

And Watari absolutely _hated _it. He respected L's wishes and had sworn on L's command not to tell anyone, but Watari loathed standing by and doing nothing as L internally tormented himself.

In short, every single one of them was miserable with the exception of Light, who was attacking the case with vigor, eager to prove his innocence.

L was currently perched on the edge of his chair, staring intently at his computer screen and shoveling spoonfuls of strawberry ice cream into his mouth. He had already devoured his way through three half-gallons and was well on his way to finishing his fourth. His appetite was astonishingly larger than usual, eating being his prime resource for fending off grief. He had been able to maintain a composed exterior ever since the day he silently broke down in the hospital. He refused to upset himself over Yagami Light, over _emotions_.

The first time L smiled in what seemed like an eternity was when Misa showed up.

"Liiiiight!" Misa squealed, skipping into the main investigation room and throwing her arms around Light's waist.

L's hand twitched slightly and he misplaced a sugar cube, knocking over the tower he had been building.

"Excuse me…?" Light blinked, prying her arms away from him and taking a step back to examine her carefully. "Have we met?"

"_What?_"

L bowed his head, concealing a smirk. At least _something _good had come out of the whole incident.

"Oh… You're Misa-Misa, aren't you?" Light's eyes widened fractionally. "My little sister is a huge fan. But…why are you _here_?"

"You're kidding, right?" Misa blinked, tilting her head to the side. "It's a joke? And why is your head all bandaged up? Light…are you okay?"

"Light-kun has misplaced several months of his memory, Misa-san," L declared, beginning to reconstruct his sugar cube monument, "due to an unpleasant car accident. I'm afraid he hasn't the slightest idea why you are exhibiting such clingy and obsessive behavior."

"_What?_" Misa shrieked for the second time that day. "Oh, _Light_…"

She latched onto his arm, bearing a striking resemblance to a leech as she cut off his blood circulation. Burying her face in the fabric of Light's sleeve, she wailed, "I'm your _girlfriend_… But don't worry; I'll help you remember everything, and you'll fall in love with me all over again!"

Misa released her grip on his arm, beaming up at him. "Okay?"

"Uh…" Light shot L a "_why didn't you tell me this _before _she showed up?_" look.

L held his stoic mask perfectly, simply shrugging. Responding with a "_because we used to sleep together and I don't want her to have you_" look would have been tactless. He turned back to his sugar cube tower, delicately placing the blocks with practiced precision.

"Misa…" Light began as his head began to throb worse than ever. Just what he needed—another problem on top of his gaping memory, suspicion of being Kira, torturous head pains, and the irritating detective chained to his wrist. "Can you come back another day? I need some time to think things over, okay?"

Misa looked slightly hurt, but she nodded and waved cheerily. "I'll come back tomorrow, okay?"

"I don't—"

"Great!" Misa beamed. "I'll see you tomorrow then!"

"Right…"

The hyperactive blond flounced to the door, turning around once more to smile at Light. "Bye, Light! Work hard and…try to remember some stuff!"

He wished recovery from the amnesia was as easy as "trying to remember some stuff."

Once the door was shut and she was out of sight, Light breathed an exhausted sigh, slumping into his chair beside L.

"She's annoying, isn't she?" L asked, completely concealing his glee.

"Yeah…" Light muttered, rubbing his aching head. "Reminds me of a certain detective I know."

"Oh?" L asked with mock curiosity, increasing the size of his sugar cube tower, which was beginning to resemble a fortress. "And who would that be? Not _me_, certainly; I am not _nearly _as unintelligent as she is."

"You sure are arrogant, Ryuzaki."

"Not arrogant," L replied, admiring his sugar cube fortress for a moment before beginning to devour it. "Merely factual."

Light smiled slightly, shaking his head. "Let's just forget the distraction and get back to the case."

Misa didn't have a name; she was called "the distraction."

That made L happy, and for a fleeting moment, he allowed himself to become absorbed in his own selfishness. He was acting more human with every passing day, allowing his feelings to consume him beneath the surface. The whole fiasco with Light had dragged up the ugliest side of L; the desire, the selfishness, the resentment. Behind his convincing emotionless mask, he had detached himself from the case and was already thinking up ways to sabotage Light and Misa's to-be relationship.

After all, Light felt uncomfortable in the affection Misa had forced upon him.

If L destroyed a relationship between them before it began, he would be doing Light a _favor_.

And thus his sin was justified. Such was the reasoning of L's ugly, all too human side.

- - -

_He had a dream that night, for the first time in many days. The first bit was an incoherent jumble of thoughts haphazardly glued together; Light and Misa stood side-by-side, hand-in-hand, each clutching a black notebook. A sadistic grin adorned the face of the man he loved and he heard Light whisper, "L…do you know…" And then the scene changed, and L was standing in front of an enormous concrete wall that stretched up forever into the sky. Its slate gray surface was spattered with blood, spelling out "GODS OF DEATH" in sloppy, crimson English letters._

"…_love apples," L finished the sentence, gazing steadily at the blood covered wall._

"_Wrong." Light's voice reverberated off the concrete wall, sending chills running through L's veins. "You lose the game, Lawliet."_

"_But—"_

_The scene changed again, and L found himself standing in the pouring rain at the foot of a small, unimpressive looking grave marker. He heard bells through the pattering of the rain—church bells? A wedding? Or…_

_There was no name on the grave; it was utterly blank._

…_a funeral?_

"_Here lies the world's greatest detective." Light's mocking voice rang out from all corners of the cemetery. "Here lies L Lawliet."_

_L shuddered at the sound of his name._

"_Here lies __**Justice**__," Light shrieked, voice gleeful with barely suppressed laughter. "__**Justice**__, murdered by __**divine judgment**__. Here lies a __**failure**__. Here lies a __**dead man**__!"_

_L staggered back from his grave, casting suspicious glances in every direction, struggling to pinpoint the origin of Light's voice. It was everywhere; he was everywhere, laughing hauntingly in L's ears._

"_Kill me, Lawliet!" Light hissed. "What's the matter? Can't you__** do**__ it? Go on and kill me. Catch me if you can…"_

_L was struck with a forceful blow of déjà vu, only this time the positions were switched. His mouth fell open slightly, and he murmured the only word running through his head; "Kira…"_

"_Is Kira all you ever think about?"_

_The rain had suddenly stopped, and L realized he wasn't standing in the cemetery anymore. Light's voice was no longer dripping malice; it seemed more agitated, if anything._

_L blinked and slowly took in the drastic change of scene. His dream had changed locations yet again; they were now in his room. Light had him pinned against the wall._

"_Yes…" L replied, still slightly dazed a she answered Light's question. "You are."_

"_Oh, for god's sake…" Light grumbled, leaning in close. "I'm__** not**__ Kira…"_

_L tracked every slight movement as Light closed the gap between their lips; the detective felt his stomach lurch and his breath hitch as his horrific nightmare sequence finally presented him with something worthwhile—_

And he promptly woke up, breathing heavily, forehead glistening with beads of sweat. It took him a minute to get his bearings, and when his pulse finally began to slow itself down, he realized his arms were completely wrapped around Light's waist and his head was resting on the brunette's shoulder.

"Ryuzaki." Light didn't need to say more; his tone was enough to make L recoil.

"I apologize, Light-kun," L murmured almost inaudibly. "I had no conscious intention of doing such a thing."

After staring at L with disgust for a moment, Light sighed, shaking his head. "Are you this hands-on with _all _your suspects?"

"I most certainly am not 'hands-on' as you say," L replied stubbornly. "I merely shifted in my sleep."

"And _holding my hand _in the hospital?" Light offered, cocking an eyebrow.

"Trauma leads to irrationality, Light-kun."

"And speaking of the hospital…" Light sat up in the darkness, peering at the bedside clock, which read 5:21. According to L's internal clock, they wouldn't be going back to sleep. "…what was that phone call about? You sounded upset."

"Light-kun, why are you bringing this up?" L gazed at the ceiling in the semidarkness.

"I meant to ask you about it a while ago, but I guess I got so absorbed in the case that it slipped my mind." He gave a timid laugh, rubbing the back of his head.

"I see." L made no move to answer Light's question.

"Ryuzaki, was that phone call about me?" Light spoke up after a moment, getting straight to the point.

"Yes." L saw no real point in neglecting the truth. He was lying almost perfectly still; his only movement consisted of his slow, steady breathing.

"You sounded upset," Light pushed forward.

"Yes," was L's curt reply.

"I forgot something important, didn't I?" Light rubbed his aching head. "Is that it?"

"Yes," L replied, continuing his chain of monosyllabic responses.

"So, what was it then?" Light asked eagerly.

"I could tell you," L answered thoughtfully, sitting up and hugging his knees to his chest, "but you wouldn't believe me."

Light's overwhelming curiosity was getting the better of him, and he couldn't help pressing the matter. "Tell me."

"You'll find out eventually," L replied, standing up to get ready for work.

_Eventually…_

_Soon… Because I need you to know, regardless of whether or not you accept it._

He would have to do something very quickly; unbeknownst to L, Kira would soon be reunited with his Death Note, his killing instrument.

_Very _soon.

- - -

**A/N: Wow, that's gonna be, erm, interesting, to say the least…when he regains his Death Note memories, but still has gaping holes in his memories pertaining to the whole L thing. I laugh at ya, Light. Poor guy can't keep track of his brainz… :P**

**Enter…the Yotsuba arc! –dramatic pose– **

**I'll probably just skip all the crap until the point where Light regains ownership; we all know what happens and it would be boring to have an entire chapter of summarization… **

**Thanks for reading!**


	8. VIII: Skeptic

_**Here Lies Justice**_

_Chapter VIII: Skeptic_

- - -

_October, 2004._

"Light-kun, you have been in the shower for twenty-five minutes," L droned, glancing uninterestedly at Light's silhouette behind the shower curtain. L was standing barefooted on the cold tiled floor, leaning against the wall and gazing into the mirror.

L's pale complexion and dead-looking black eyes stared back at him. He obviously didn't care much about his sloppy appearance, but he ran a hand through his tangled mass of black hair and wondered for a fleeting moment if he would come off as more appealing to Light if he took better care of himself.

_Ridiculous._

L shifted his gaze away from the mirror, waiting another five minutes and twenty-four seconds before Light finally shut off the water.

"Ryuzaki." Light opened the shower curtain a crack, holding his arm out expectantly. "Can you hand me my towel?"

L silently dropped the towel into Light's outstretched hand. Once Light had come out of the shower, L found himself waiting another ten minutes or so for Light to fuss with his hair in front of the mirror.

"Aren't you going to shower, Ryuzaki?" Light asked, pulling a brush through his wet auburn strands.

"After you have used up all the hot water? No thank you, Light-kun," L replied dismally, catching another glimpse of himself in the mirror. Comparing reflections, L realized how unkempt he looked standing beside Light. He didn't care, really, but the contrast was astounding.

"Light-kun, how much longer are you going to spend playing with your hair?" L inquired innocently.

"Ryuzaki, can't I get one _hour _to myself in the morning without you pestering me about my every move?" Light huffed, inspecting himself from several different angles. "Really, sometimes I get the feeling you really hate my guts."

"Quite the contrary, actually," L murmured under his breath.

"What?"

"I said I'm hungry," L responded, snatching the brush from Light's hand. "You can continue playing with your hair after we eat."

"I don't see what's so _bad _about caring about my appearance…" Light grumbled, stepping out of the bathroom and rifling through his closet. In the midst of debating between two different outfits, he continued, "Of course, you wouldn't understand since you couldn't care less about how you present yourself. I, however, have my _dignity_."

Light usually wasn't quite this whiny in the morning; L guessed that he didn't sleep very well. Maybe it had something to do with waking up to find L clinging to him.

"Handcuff." Light held out his arm impatiently, causing the chain to jingle irritatingly. L reached into his pocket and removed a small black box with a six-digit combination lock built into its face. L fiddled with the letters and numbers for a minute or so, and the box clicked open. Inside the box was a second, smaller lock with four digits. After sliding the combination of numbers and letters correctly into place, L slid open a small compartment in the little box, revealing a tiny silver key.

Removing the key from the box, L unlocked the handcuff around Light's wrist, allowing him to get dressed. Despite the freedom of movement he had provided, L did not allow Light any privacy. The detective kept his black eyes fixed on Light, under the excuse of taking caution to assure Light didn't try anything suspicious while L's back was turned.

"Well don't _look _at me!" Light paused as he was about to remove his towel.

"It's a precaution. Besides, it's nothing I haven't already seen, Light-kun," L remarked in an undertone.

"What?"

"I said we should really get to work soon," L answered, putting his back to Light. "You can change now, Light-kun. The nasty pervert isn't going to look at your little—"

"Hey, it's not _little_," Light replied indignantly. "Besides, how could you possibly know_ anything_ about it, anyway?"

"I know a lot of things, Light-kun," L said sagely.

Light looked quite horrified.

The clock read 6:36 when they finally headed downstairs, chained together once again. Light's trim, freshly showered appearance contrasted magnificently with L, who was still wearing the same jeans and plain shirt he had slept in. L swiped a box of assorted doughnuts from the kitchen and sauntered off to the main investigation room, positioning himself in a crouch in front of his computer as he began to devour his breakfast. He left the box of doughnuts midway between his and Light's seats incase Light got hungry, but the brunette never ate a single one.

A few hours later, Light summoned L over to his computer, where several graphs, charts, and other assorted documents were displayed on the screen.

"Ryuzaki… I know you're not into this, but come over here for a second."

L rose from his chair, glancing over Light's shoulder at the information displayed on the computer.

"Take a look at this," Light announced. "Look at the change here. And look at this sudden growth."

L's eyes widened as a wave of excitement flooded him. The rusty, unused cogs in his brain began to turn, gears meshing once again as his mind booted itself up, spurred on by this new lead.

_Yotsuba…_

"How about now?" Light asked, feeling rather smug. "You ready to get to work?"

- - -

Things happened all quite quickly now that L was focusing hard on the case. Aizawa left the investigation team to keep his job at the NPA. Light's father, along with Mogi and Matsuda, quit the NPA to stay with the team. Due to Matsuda's "stupidity," (declared by L) Misa was introduced to the Yotsuba group of eight as a cover-up and Matsuda was able to figure out more about the group. Surveillance gear was planted and the team was able to watch the meeting that Matsuda uncovered with his self-titled "heroics" (L insisted that "stupidity" was far more accurate).

Meanwhile, Misa acted as clingy and hyperactive as usual. Light halfheartedly played along, extremely uncomfortable but not wanting to upset her; he couldn't fathom why he would _ever _date such a ditzy girl. As far as he was concerned, memories or not, he didn't think he would ever even consider going out with Misa.

He supposed there must have been some reason, but without his memories, Light was quite lost.

On October 25th, Misa was able to confirm Higuchi's identity as the Yotsuba Kira. The team put their Kira's Identity broadcast plan into action on the 28th, and soon enough Light found himself at an extremely crucial point in his existence as Kira.

He was currently sitting next to L, who was piloting the helicopter. Higuchi was below them in his car, surrounded on all sides and panicking like a cornered animal. He was successfully apprehended, and L began to interrogate him via headset.

"The notebook…" Higuchi muttered.

"Notebook?"

"You probably won't believe it, but there's a notebook that kills whoever's name you write in it, if you know what they look like," Higuchi responded sullenly.

On L's request, Light's father searched the car for the aforementioned notebook. Examining the pages, he addressed L through his headset. "Ryuzaki, I found a notebook, but I don't see anything odd about it. There are names written in here, but…"

He glanced up, directly at the Shinigami looming over him. He could see her now that he had made contact with the Death Note, and promptly let out a scream that left Light and L staring, dumbfounded.

"What is it, Yagami-san?"

"M-Monster…"

Mogi stepped forward to take the notebook from him and was met with the same horrifying sight.

L asked for the notebook to be brought to the helicopter and clutched the edges between his thumbs and index fingers.

"A Shinigami… So they really exist…" he murmured, gazing wide-eyed at Rem.

"Is this true, Ryuzaki? Let me touch it, too!"

L watched Light carefully as the brunette snatched the Death Note. It must have been the sudden shock of seeing the Shinigami; yes, _that _was why Light let out an ear-shattering scream.

It hit Light all at once like a painful blow to the head, and it felt as if a thousand tiny needles were jabbing themselves into his skull, each one returning a fragment of a memory. The scenes he had long forgotten now swept through him, coursing through his veins as he experienced the biggest rush of adrenaline he had ever felt in his life. Memories flooded his spinning head, from the point where he discovered the Death Note all the way up to his surrendering of ownership.

_Death Note—Kira—Ryuk—Raye Penber—Naomi Misora—cameras—"divine" judgment—"I am L"—tennis match—Sakura TV—Misa—Rem—"friendship"—apprehension—confinement—lost memories—_

_I'm Kira._

It was spelled out before him as the invisible needles drilled it across his forehead:

_I am Kira._

_I have to kill L._

_L…_

Something about L was bothering him, a whisper-quiet thought lingering somewhere in the back of his head, conveniently placed somewhere he couldn't reach. There were still gaps in his memories, he realized; his amnesia collided awkwardly with the regaining of his memories involving the Death Note. Something didn't fit correctly; L had been acting quite oddly lately, ever since after Light's accident.

It was something involving his memories, Light realized—something _important_.

He made a mental note to ask L about it later, and then he completely set his mind on his goal—to regain ownership of the notebook. He had to be careful, had to hold onto the Death Note until he killed Higuchi in order to gain ownership—otherwise, if he lost physical contact with the Note, his memories would vanish once again.

Under the excuse of comparing the names in the notebook to the names of the Kira victims, Light opened his watch with a soft _click_, revealing a torn piece of the Death Note. Pricking himself with a needle, he began to write Higuchi's name in blood, counting down the seconds when he had finished. Replacing the needle and paper and closing his watch, Light sat back and clutched the Death Note.

It was the longest forty seconds of his life.

Finally, Higuchi seized up as the heart attack ripped through his chest, and Light suppressed a grin.

The cry came from below the helicopter, "Higuchi! Ryuzaki, Higuchi is—"

Light, always the amazing actor, plastered a fake look of shock on his face. "W-What? What's happening?"

"Higuchi is unconscious!"

"What are you doing, Dad?" Light shouted back, standing up and striking a very convincing panicked pose. "If Higuchi dies here…"

"B-But… No… This is… He's already…"

_Yeah…he's dead. And you're next, Ryuzaki…_

Because everything had been perfectly set into motion; he was reunited with his Death Note, his tool for carrying out his judgments, and now all he had to do was kill L.

_L…_

Light cast a sideways glance at L, who was staring back at him.

_Something about L… Something I forgot…_

Light saw himself reflected in L's dead, black eyes.

_Something important…_

All Light needed to do now was to act carefully, plan accordingly, wait for the opportune moment, and make his move flawlessly. He would kill L soon. His obstacles would be cleared completely, and he would become the unopposed god of his new, perfect world.

_Very _soon.

- - -

Light's first day with his Death Note memories intact started out absolutely dreadfully at around four o'clock in the morning.

_Light had a very odd dream that night; L was pinning him to their bed, crawling on top of him, kissing him fervently, murmuring "Kira" into his mouth, and for some reason, Light couldn't move. He willed his arms to raise themselves and shove L away, but his body was frozen in defiance because it wanted the taste of L, wanted the sensation of the warm body on top of his… It felt so realistic, down to the tiniest details; the cold chain burning against Light's overheated skin, the faint taste of strawberries that clung to L's lips…_

Light awoke quite suddenly due to extreme discomfort near his midsection. He glanced sideways at L, who was squatting, clutching a cupcake, and staring at the ceiling.

"Light-kun is up early," L remarked, gaze lingering on the ceiling.

Light glanced at the clock. It was 4:09.

L finally rested his eyes on Light. "You look very uncomfortable."

"I—uh… Can you…unchain me and let me go to the bathroom?" Light asked, avoiding eye contact. "I have to…uh…"

"I cannot unchain you, Light-kun," L replied, "so I will have to go with you."

"No!" Light interjected hastily. "I…uh… I really just need some privacy… So…"

_Aha._

"Light-kun had a dirty dream and needs to masturbate!" L declared loudly, quite happy with himself as he reached his conclusion.

"_Shut up!_"

"And what was Light-kun dreaming about?" L crooned, looking rather smug as he peeled the paper away from the cupcake.

"None of your damn business!" Light snapped, folding his arms across his chest and glaring at L. "I _refuse._"

He never really expounded; L assumed he was both refusing to masturbate and to answer L's question.

"Light-kun is very stubborn," L remarked, running his little finger through the pink icing on his cupcake. "Very…" He slowly ran his finger across his tongue, licking the icing off and sucking his finger clean. "…stubborn."

"_Stop that!_"

"Stop _what_, Light-kun?" L asked innocently, scooping up more frosting with the tip of his finger and sucking on it delicately.

"You're a _bastard,_ Ryuzaki…" Light seethed, turning his back to L and pulling the covers over his head, curling up into a ball.

"Good night, Light-kun." L shoved the entire cupcake into his mouth. After he had swallowed, he added with a barely suppressed grin, "_Sweet dreams_."

"Fuck you!"

_Something important about L…_

_Something that made him upset…_

_Something about me…_

_Something I forgot…_

_But…_

_What the hell am I doing, having a dream like that?_

- - -

Light woke up around two hours later to the annoying sensation of L repeatedly prodding him in the side of his head.

"Good morning, Light-kun," L said as soon as Light opened his eyes.

"I'd hardly call it _'good'_…" Light grumbled, grabbing his pillow and throwing it at L.

L deftly caught the pillow, nibbling at his thumb as he watched Light bury himself beneath the blankets.

"I'm afraid you can't do that, Light-kun," L murmured, snatching the blanket away from Light. "It's six o'clock. Time to wake up."

"Who're you to tell me what I can and can't do?" Light hissed, sitting up and glaring at L. "The suspicion against me has been cleared. You saw the thirteen-day rule in the notebook, didn't you? Both Misa and I are cleared because the time we spent in confinement was more than thirteen days. Since neither of us are dead, you can conclude that neither of us is Kira. So…"

Light shook his wrist, causing the handcuffs to jingle.

"You need to take these off."

L calmly rested his blank eyes on Light. He didn't like this demand—didn't like it at _all_. This meant he was no longer able to be around Light every hour of every day. It meant L and Light would no longer share a bed. It meant that they would really, truly be separated.

Knowing Light, L was confident that he _would _stick around to work on the case, whether it was out of the desire to catch Kira or because he was Kira himself. But it wouldn't be the same; L wouldn't be able to glance over in the middle of the night and take comfort in the sight of his former lover asleep.

_If the person using the Note fails to consecutively write names of people to be killed within thirteen days of each other, then the user will die._

_Thirteen days…_

That was the only problem. He was thoroughly convinced of Yagami Light's guilt, but the thirteen day rule… The Shinigami had never declared any of the rules to be fake, but it just worked out too neatly. The cards were dealt too much in Misa and Light's favor, and L had a feeling that it was because Light had hidden aces up his sleeve.

"Yes, I will have the handcuffs removed, Light-kun."

But L's suspicions were far from cleared.

He fished in his pocket for a moment, pulling out the small black box with the double combination locks. It took him about two minutes to remove the small silver key he used to detach the handcuffs from his and Light's wrists. The chain fell between them, clinking as it collapsed onto itself. For a moment, L felt the pain of the physical bond breaking, but he shoved it aside and submerged himself in sullen acceptance.

"Ryuzaki?"

L, who had been staring forlornly at the chain, jerked his head up at the sound of his name. "Yes?"

"It's okay if I stay here to work on the investigation, right?" Light reached for the chain, coiling it around his fingers.

"Yes."

Silence fell between them for a moment.

"Ryuzaki?" Light asked again, still fiddling with the chain.

"Yes?"

"What was the important thing I forgot?"

L instantaneously recalled an article he had read while "working" once, when he decided to educate himself about Light's case of amnesia:

"_While there is no cure for retrograde amnesia, 'jogging' the victim's memory by exposing them to significant articles from their past will speed the rate of recall."_

L bit his thumb.

"Come on, tell me." Light squeezed his fist around the chain, curiosity boiling in the pit of his stomach.

"I'm thinking, Light-kun."

_Jogging the victim's memory… I wonder…is it worth it?_

"I would like you to first take a guess." L glanced over at Light, whose expression didn't change.

_Jogging the victim's memory…_

"It would have to be something pretty drastic since you seemed so upset about it," Light replied. He held his hand very still, no longer toying with the chain. "Something big enough to break through your walls. I've noticed that you're very good at containing your emotions. So if it was something important enough to break through even the great L's barriers…"

Light had an odd look on his face; he looked slightly amused but spoke very seriously. "Did you fall in love?"

L remained silent, gnawing viciously on his thumbnail.

_Jogging the victim's memory…_

"With who?" Light asked eagerly, interpreting L's silence to be a "yes." He had a feeling that he already knew the answer.

L lifted his dark eyes, gazing steadily into Light's brown ones. "Do you really want to know, Light-kun?"

Light felt his heart miss a beat as a sense of dread, exhilaration, and realization flooded him. His "yes" was faint and hesitant.

_He asked for it. The blame for this cannot be pinned on me._

"Very well."

_Jogging the victim's memory…_

L gently took Light's face between his hands, eyes silently asking permission to continue.

Light was still as stone beneath L's hands. His eyes were wide, but he made no indication for L to stop.

"Just remember: you asked for it, Kira-kun."

"I'm not—"

L silenced him with a kiss that conveyed all the bottled up emotion he had buried inside himself ever since the car accident. He was seizing the chance Light had gift-wrapped for him, and he was enjoying every precious second of it. Pushing Light gently down onto his back, L straddled the younger man's hips, stroking the side of Light's face with a trembling hand. Light opened his mouth to speak but L captured his lips again before he could say a word.

"Does that answer your question?" L inquired softly.

To Light, it felt wrong, even as something clicked into place—something that made everything alright. It still felt all wrong, and as L pulled away, eyes searching Light's face for a reaction, the younger man heard himself say faintly, "I raped you."

It was all he remembered, and he felt a slight twinge of guilt.

"Shh."

Light sat up, clutching the bed sheets in his fists. "I hurt you."

L shushed him again.

Light couldn't figure out whether his words were genuine or not; he was always conscious of the fact that, since he was Kira, he would have to kill L or risk having his perfect world fall apart. L was his enemy, his obstacle; Light couldn't let himself be distracted.

And for all he knew, it could be a _trap_—some sick plan to trick him into revealing information. He couldn't have possibly known the level of L's affection, couldn't have possibly known how truly infatuated the detective had become with him.

L was gazing at him expectantly.

"Ryuzaki…" Light began. His mind had locked up and refused to produce words for him.

"Light-kun," L spoke up abruptly, "if you were Kira, would you kill me?"

_What kind of question is that? _Light thought to himself, suspicion rising.

"If I were Kira, of course I'd have to kill you." He selected his words carefully. "So, hypothetically speaking, yes."

"That's not what I asked," was L's soft reply. "I didn't ask whether you'd _have _to kill me. What I said was…"

He reached for the chain that was sitting between them, twisting it around his fingers as Light had done. "…_would _you?"

_Would I kill L? _

Light glanced sideways at the wide, blank eyes, the tangled, unwashed hair, and the pale face of the detective he had been chained to for so long.

_Could I? It's for the betterment of the world. He's an obstacle preventing the development of my perfect world, and he must be eliminated._

_But…_

_God damn you, L…_

"_Just remember: you asked for it, Kira-kun."_

_But this isn't fair._

At a loss for words, Light stood up, giving the only reasonable response he could think of.

"The answer to that question is meaningless, Ryuzaki, because I'm not Kira."

And for a fleeting moment, he wished he wasn't. In the seconds before his ideals and his yearning for a perfect world returned, he wished he wasn't Kira. He wished for one moment that L didn't have to die, because he didn't really mind the disheveled ebony-haired detective so much after all; in fact, an oddly familiar sensation was settling uncomfortably in the pit of Light's stomach. It was entirely new, yet he felt as if he'd known it forever. It was an old feeling long forgotten that had come surging back tenfold, conflicting between his ideals in an unpleasant way. Doubt was lodged deep into his chest as he fought an internal war between Yagami Light the skeptic and Kira, who was completely bent on killing L.

"_Would you?"_

Yagami Light would stand his ground and fight against himself, unsettled all the while, with the thought lingering perpetually in the back of his mind as he hesitated to face it: he knew Kira so _hated _to lose.

- - -

**A/N: AHHH. LIGHT VS. KIRA. FIGHT TO THA DEATH.**

**Ehem. Anyway, I **_**really **_**couldn't resist that jab at Light near the beginning… Or that middle part (he had it coming to him…heheh…).**

**And I apologize for the mini-summary for the Yotsuba arc… I didn't want to leave a giant gap between the last chapter and when Light regains his memories; it just felt awkward.**

**So… I've deviated again from the original Death Note plot. Light has not yet contacted Misa about digging up the Death Note he had buried before his confinement, so Misa has not taken on the responsibility of Kira killings. Therefore, she is not in danger of being apprehended and so Light is not currently pressured into having L dead in order to avoid Misa being detained. That means we get to have L-chan alive longer. :3**

**So, then. LET THERE BE YAOI. Knock him dead, L. You KNOW he wants you… Ehehe… :D**

**And YOU—damn you, Kira; you're in the way of our boys' relationshiiip. D:**

**Heh, well, you may be "god," but you're not the author of this fic. :P**

**(Speaking of which, sorry for the slow update. I was planning on getting this chapter done by yesterday, but it turned out longer than I thought…)**

**To everyone else who's **_**not **_**Kira—thanks for reading!**


	9. IX: Stalker

_**Here Lies Justice**_

_Chapter IX: Stalker_

- - -

_Light wanted love; Kira wanted power._

His memories were slowly creeping back to him, falling delicately into place. The vague outline of the feelings L had instilled in him was now losing the blur on its edges, snapping almost completely into focus ever since the kiss that had sparked his internal war. L had fired the first shot, and Light's entire equilibrium was now in turmoil.

He had stood up, denied being Kira, and walked out of the room, insisting that rejecting L was for the betterment of the world. Really, he had known what was running through the detective's head; Light didn't have to push for a full-blown confession like that. He honestly didn't know why he had pressed like that; perhaps, he thought, it was the remnants of old, discarded memories.

He used to love L; he _still _loved L, much to his dismay. But his status and his goal simply wouldn't allow it. Kira wouldn't allow it.

And yet, ironically, they never would have met if it weren't for Kira. It was simply infuriating.

They barely spoke a word for the rest of the day. The only exchange between them before Misa arrived was L's sullen "Would you care for a cherry, Yagami-kun?" and Light's response of "no" as he experienced a faint sense of déjà vu.

The younger man also noticed that L was now referring to him by his last name. Light wondered why; was L _sulking_, perhaps?

Light's eyes wandered to the surveillance cameras as he watched Misa exit her room and bound down the stairs to the investigation room.

He now remembered the important role she played in his plan for a perfect world. He now finally understood why he had started dating her in the first place, and he remembered what he had to do.

And so, Light greeted her extremely enthusiastically, since he knew he had to keep her close if he was to execute the creation of his utopia. He kissed her fully on the lips, a sight that caused L to practically break his teeth as he bit down hard on the lollipop he was eating with a loud _crunch_.

L took it the wrong way; he misinterpreted Light's affection towards Misa as a way of adding insult to L's injury, breaking his heart tenfold. In fact, he probably would've preferred knowing Light was only using her because he was Kira. It most likely would have hurt less, since he was already near positive Light was Kira anyway.

_Bastard._

L averted his eyes, chewing morosely on the remnants of his shattered strawberry-flavored lollipop. He snapped the stick between his thumb and index finger, releasing his grip and watching the broken stick fall to the desktop.

So much for sabotaging their relationship; L's confession had apparently had the opposite effect of what he had intended.

Misa was responding equally enthusiastically to Light's display of affection; L cleared his throat loudly and announced, "Amane-san."

L's glare was fixed on Misa, who either hadn't heard him or was ignoring him; she was clinging to Light as if her life depended on it, kissing him earnestly.

L raised his voice, picking up a cherry and throwing it at her. "_Amane-san!_"

Misa, still clinging to Light, turned her head and finally acknowledged him. "Hmm?"

"You are hereby released from twenty-four hour surveillance and are allowed to leave the building and live elsewhere unsupervised."

_So get the hell out._

"Isn't that great, Misa?" Light mechanically circled an arm around her waist. There was no emotion in his actions, but Misa didn't seem to notice. "So, want to go somewhere today, Misa?"

"Yes!" Misa squealed, grinning widely. "We haven't had any alone time in _forever_!"

"Yeah." Light smiled halfheartedly to cover up his look of disgust.

Clinging to Light's arm, Misa led him out of the room, chattering incessantly all the while.

As soon as the door closed, L jumped to his feet, jealousy and anger blazing through his veins. The temperature in the room seemed to be rising, and although he managed to maintain a straight face, the entire room grew completely silent as he turned to look at the investigation team members.

"I'm going out," L said stiffly, finding it increasingly difficult to maintain his composure as he replayed the image of Light kissing Misa over and over in his head.

"Ryuzaki, don't you need shoes…?" Matsuda asked, bewildered as L strode calmly to the door.

L paused, turning his head halfway to glance over his shoulder at Matsuda, who instinctively took a step backwards as he met L's gaze. The raven-haired detective's eyes were alight with malice, jealousy, determination, pain, and instability as he murmured dangerously softly, "No."

Closing the distance between himself and the door, he allowed himself a small, almost manic smile. "I have errands to attend to."

He was all too human, and he hated it.

- - -

L poked his head out of the front door of the building, catching a glimpse of Misa and Light walking together. He scowled as his eyes fell on their entwined hands. It was around midday, and L supposed they were going out somewhere for lunch. Rem had stayed behind at the investigation headquarters in the short time that Light and Misa had decided to go out; it would look less suspicious if she didn't follow Light.

L nibbled his thumbnail, darting out of the investigation building once Misa and Light were a reasonable distance away. He could still distinguish the couple from the other pedestrians, but he was far away enough so that if one of them happened to cast a backwards glance, it wasn't likely L would be recognized. Hopefully. He ran a hand through his hair in a futile attempt to tame the wild, tangled locks. Sighing, he gave up and focused all his energy on tailing Light and Misa. He would have to be extra careful to successfully follow them, since L stood out of a crowd like a sore thumb.

Weaving in and out of people, L continued to follow them, never once taking his eyes away. He didn't really know why he was compulsively doing something so stupid and useless, and he had no idea what he was actually going to _do_. A long time ago, Misa had called him a pervert for watching her and Light when they were together.

It wasn't like that; L was going to do _something_—something that would force Misa to break up with Light. There was nothing "perverted" about stalking two lovers with the sole intention of destroying their relationship.

Although it did sound rather cruel when L put it so bluntly.

L suddenly felt a sense of empathy; he and Misa were the same, weren't they? L loved Light, Misa loved Light, and L was thoroughly convinced that Light loved neither of them.

Shaking his head, L ridded himself of such thoughts, watching carefully as Misa pointed out a small café. She tugged on Light's arm and the couple went inside. L counted out five minutes before making his entrance, keeping his head down as he surveyed the place. He recognized it immediately; this was the place he and Light had gone together after their tennis match, the day they had first met.

Light and Misa would probably be sitting at that table tucked away in the corner—Light's favorite table. L pressed his back against the wall, standing adjacent to Light's preferred table but still out of sight, hidden by the wall.

He heard Misa's obnoxious, high-pitched laugh her nonstop yammering as he stood against the wall. As he had suspected, the couple was sitting at the tucked-away table. L strained his ears as Light spoke up. He didn't really know why he was listening in on their conversation, but it was a good thing he did; it probably saved his life.

Light was speaking unnaturally quietly, which raised L's suspicions immediately. The ebony-haired detective leaned as close to the edge of the wall as possible, ignoring the odd look he got from a waitress as she passed by.

"Misa, I want you to dig something up at the location I'm about to tell you."

_Dig something up…?_

At this point, L was leaning so much that he was almost falling over, straining his ears as much as he possibly could.

_The first time we came here, you said no one could hear you when you were sitting there in the corner. Apparently, you were very wrong, Light…_

L mentally memorized the location Light described, immediately dashing out of the café and into the street, flipping open his cell phone and dialing Watari.

_This has to be something important… I will dig up whatever Yagami Light has buried before Amane Misa can get to it. It must be something Kira-related. It's got to be; why else would Light bury it and make Misa go out and dig it up? What else could it be?_

_Kira-related…_

_A Death Note?_

- - -

His jealousy temporarily forgotten, L replayed Light's softly spoken instructions over and over in his head during the car ride to the location Light had specified. It seemed like an eternity before L instructed Watari to stop.

"Please wait here with the car." L hurried off into the woods, ignoring the twigs and branches that dug into the bottoms of his bare feet as he sprinted. He ran awkwardly, arms askew, and he wasn't very fast, but running seemed much more productive than walking.

_Look east from here to the closest large tree…_

L spotted a fairly large ivy-covered tree a few paces away. He hurried over to it and fell to his knees, scraping away the dirt with his bare hands. After several inches of digging, he pried a taped-up box from the ground, ripping it open in seconds.

Inside was a thin, black notebook. With trembling finger, L pried it open, eyes scanning the name-covered pages.

"Death Note…" he murmured, trancelike as he flipped through the notebook.

_I could kill Amane Misa with this…_

_No, I can't do that. That would be sinking even lower than Kira, since she isn't even a criminal._

_But she is the second Kira, isn't she…? Doesn't this prove it? Light has buried this Death Note, undoubtedly before he went into confinement, since from that point on I was monitoring him 24/7._

_That means he had everything planned from the beginning. All this time, he had taken measures to ensure my death._

_Even when we were…?_

_No, during the majority of his confinement and the period in which we were chained together, it's like he was a different person…_

_If, while in confinement, Light managed to pass the power of Kira to someone else… And, in turn, lose his memories of being Kira…_

L's thoughts were interrupted as an envelope fell from between the pages of the Note. It was addressed to Misa.

The detective carefully unfolded it, eyes quickly scanning the message.

"_By the time you read this letter, you should have remembered everything._

_Do you remember my friend you met when you came to visit me at To-oh University? He called himself Ryuga Hideki, but you saw his name as something else. I want you to write his name in this notebook and kill him. But if you do it right after reading this letter, it will be immediately after you and I are given our freedom. So don't kill him until I give you the order to do so._

_Please burn this letter immediately and only take with you a number of notebook pages that you can get rid of quickly. Hide the pages on you and rebury the notebook here. And when you see me again, touch me with a piece of the notebook, and make it look casual._

_If you do this, I will love you forever._

_- Yagami Light"_

L's eyes were wide with horror and indecision.

This was the evidence—this was the undeniable _proof _that Yagami Light was Kira. L could deny it no longer; he couldn't turn a blind eye to it anymore as he read and reread the text before him. It was undoubtedly Light's handwriting, and it instilled a sinking feeling in L's stomach.

L had known it all along; then why did it hit him all at once like a ton of bricks? He hugged his legs to his chest, burying his head into his knees and curling his bare toes into the soft dirt.

"I've finally returned to the human wor—_woah!_"

The hoarse voice snapped L out of his stupor, and the detective looked up.

"You're…" L scooted back a few feet, gazing up at Ryuk in awe. "…another Shinigami?"

"Yup." Ryuk pointed a claw-like finger at the Death Note. "I'm attached to that notebook. I didn't expect _you _to get your hands on it, though…"

L glanced at the black notebook sitting on the ground a few feet away from him. He had dropped it in surprise before he had moved himself several feet away when the Shinigami had first appeared. The detective crawled over to the Death Note, snatching it up and flipping through its pages. He could feel a tingling in his fingertips—a surge of power, and suddenly, he realized what had possessed Light to become Kira.

"This notebook," L announced, dangling the Note between his thumb and forefinger and holding it an arm's length away as if it contained some highly contagious disease, "is a twisted murder weapon which manipulates the minds of humans into such ugly things. If it weren't for these _god damned _notebooks…"

L wasn't afraid to look Ryuk in the eyes, glaring coldly at the Shinigami.

"…Yagami Light would not have been destroyed."

"Got a soft spot for Light?" Ryuk asked. Before L could answer, Ryuk piped up, "Hey, do you have any apples?"

"No." L rose to his feet, filling in the hole he had dug and firmly patting the dirt down. Clutching the notebook and the box in which it had been sealed, L turned away. "I'm leaving, Shinigami."

"The name's Ryuk." He floated behind L, like a silent stalker whose interest was once again piqued. Ryuk knew things weren't going to plan; Light would never allow L to get his hands on the Death Note.

The Shinigami snickered; he was ready for an interesting show.

"Whatcha gonna do with the Death Note?" Ryuk inquired after about thirty seconds of silence.

"I am going to lock it away where no one will ever be able to find it," L responded immediately. Rem had said that all Death Notes have the same rules, which meant that according to the notebook back at the investigation headquarters, if he destroyed the Note, he would die.

L wasn't ready to die just yet.

"You mean you're not gonna use it?" Ryuk asked, sounding disappointed.

"Why would I do that, Ryuk-san?" L glanced lazily over his shoulder at the floating reaper.

"Well, look at Light. When he lost his memories, he thought taking lives was wrong, but when he had the Death Note, it was a whole different story…" Ryuk's perpetual smirk widened. "What I'm saying is, it doesn't matter how good of a person you are. No human can resist using the Note."

"I never said I was a good person," L muttered, emerging from the trees and spotting Watari's car. "And I refuse to use the murder notebook."

Ryuk merely cackled, following L into the car.

"Watari," L spoke up, "I have discovered something very interesting."

He leaned forward to the front seat to show Watari, dangling the Death Note between his fingers. "Kira's murder notebook."

- - -

A few hours later, Misa was frantically digging beside the biggest tree she could find; this _had _to be the one Light had specified, and if she couldn't do what Light had instructed her to do, then he'd _hate _her…

"But there's nothing here!" Misa wailed, throwing down her shovel in frustration and despair.

- - -

L had returned to the investigation headquarters and was draped lazily over the couch cushions, still clutching the Death Note to his chest. He had asked Watari to bring a bowl of apples for the annoying Shinigami, who was now noisily devouring them.

"Shinigami love apples…" L mused, gazing at the ceiling, "don't they, Ryuk-san?"

"Apples in the Shinigami Realm…" Ryuk mumbled between bites, "…are all dry and sandy." He threw the core down and picked up another apple. "But apples in the human world are—"

"What do you mean, '_it's not there_'?"

L heard an angry voice and turned his head towards the door. It was coming from the hall, and it sounded like Light.

"You obviously didn't follow the directions correctly, then!" Light stormed through the doors into the main investigation room. "There's no way anyone could've—"

Light's eyes widened, flickering from L on the couch to the notebook in his hands to the floating apple, clutched by Ryuk, who was invisible to Light.

L. Death Note. Floating apple. Shinigami. Ryuk.

Light almost dropped his phone.

"I'll…call you back, Misa." He snapped it shut, stuffing it into his pocket.

"What the _hell_…" Light gestured towards the apple hovering in midair. "…is going on, Ryuzaki?"

"Oh, Yagami-kun." L smiled sweetly. The investigation room was empty except for the two of them; the rest of the team members had gone out for dinner on L's request. He had wanted to be alone when Light arrived.

"What is _that_?" Light pointed an accusing finger at the notebook L was clutching.

"This?" L held the Death Note delicately between his fingers. "Coincidentally, Yagami-kun, this is exactly what I wanted to talk to you about."

He reached into his pocket and held up the note addressed from Light to Misa.

"I found Kira's murder notebook. Isn't that interesting?"

- - -

_The self-proclaimed god must choose between power and love._

_The insecure detective must choose between Light and Justice._

_Riddled with indecision, both bear their crosses and tear themselves to pieces, because they know that two wrongs don't always make everything all right._

_But "sometimes" is a handy counterbalance between "always" and "never."_

_And "hope" rears its head in all the wrong places, ironically making things right—sometimes._

- - -

**A/N: I want an L-stalker. XD**

**Sincerest apologies for the small amount of LightxMisa here, it was necessary to carry things along and I **_**promise **_**there won't be any more of it. (Jealous possessive L… Aaawww…) Light + L next chapter, oh yes… :D**

**Things took kind of a weird turn in this chapter, the whole L getting to the Death Note before Misa thing just randomly popped into my head while I was writing, and I thought "oh, what the hell, let's give it a shot." Now Light's in some deeeeep shit. Methinks he's in need of some "punishment." ;D**

**But yeah, for the entirety of this fic, I've had no idea where things are going… This is sort of an experimental fic, I guess. Whenever I got an idea, I just threw it in the story without a second thought about the consequences. XD It's been really interesting so far; I keep digging myself into problems. I guess that's what's so fun about writing this fic—solving them. XP**

**Alas, I digress. Thanks so much for reading!**


	10. X: Surrender

_**Here Lies Justice**_

_Chapter X: Surrender_

- - -

"_Ryuk-san, if a human destroys a Death Note, would it consequently kill every human that has come in contact with it?"_

"_Nope," Ryuk answered, in the middle of devouring an apple L had given him. "But that __**would **__be kinda interesting…"_

"_Yes…" L murmured, nestling his thumb between his lips. "Interesting, indeed…"_

_**Fake rules?**_

- - -

"Kira's notebook. Another notebook…" L, sitting against the arm of the couch, caught Light's wide-eyed gaze.

"Yours, Yagami-kun?" He kept his tone as cold and clipped as possible. L refused to allow Light to use the fact that the detective was infatuated with him as a basis to weasel his way out of consequences. L was distancing himself, building up his emotional walls.

"Ryuzaki—"

"Please, by all means, call me L," the raven-haired detective said placidly, "and I shall call you Kira."

"Where did you get that, _L_?" Light clenched and unclenched his fists, horror rising in his chest. He didn't even bother denying the fact anymore; he didn't even protest against L's statement that he was Kira.

"It was precisely where you said it would be, _Kira_-kun," L responded serenely, holding the Death Note above his head in a two-fingered grip. "Is there a problem?"

Ryuk snickered in the background, sensing the younger man's rising aggravation. Light was cornered now, beginning to panic. For his own twisted reasons, whatever they might be, he still cared deeply for L and consequently felt ridden with guilt. After all, the detective had confessed his feelings to Light earlier that day, and what Light had done was the ultimate slap in L's face. Light berated himself for his own idiocy; had it not been for his slip-up, perhaps someday he would have been able to admit the feelings that mirrored L's, the feelings that had finally awakened from their dormancy. Then perhaps they could begin to rebuild what they had lost.

_No. We're on opposite sides of the spectrum. We don't belong._

It was a dangerous game Light had gotten himself involved in; he had just about fallen on the knives he had been playing with. One mistake left him helpless as a cornered animal, brain scrambling to weave coherent excuses. Light reminded himself that, despite the older man's emotions, L would stand by his Justice and would show Light—Kira—no mercy.

_What if I confess to him now? Then it will only seem like a sad attempt to take advantage of him to save my ass. But it can't end like this; I have a world to create… And L…_

Ultimately, his identity as Kira had royally screwed up everything for him; he remembered remorsefully what it felt like to hold L, to wake up beside L, to kiss L, to fight with L over sexual dominance, to spend his time chained to L every second of every day…

Both held flawless poker faces, each slowly falling apart beneath the surface but stubborn enough to refuse to show the other any weakness.

"Light-kun." L's tone was gentler now, and the fact that he was now using Light's first name was not lost on the younger man. "There is no doubt that you are Kira, so please save your lies and protests. I can see you thinking."

L prodded the side of his own head for emphasis. "There is no need to do so. Just hear me out, please. Despite your deliberate, repeated, worldwide murders, I do not wholly blame you for becoming Kira."

Light narrowed his eyes. He had expected L to attack him or something; why was the detective being so _understanding_?

L ran a finger along the spine of the Death Note, feeling the tingling feeling once again; his hand was _itching _to hold a pen, to write, to use the strong and morbid power bound between the pages. After all, he _was _only human.

But L had better self-control than that.

"These Death Notes," L rested his calm gaze on Light, "are evil things, Light-kun. Even I was tempted for a moment to use the murder notebook. After all, it's the most reasonable human response to coming into contact with the supernatural."

Light shifted uncomfortably, folding his arms across his chest. Was L _defending _his case?

"However…" Light sighed inwardly; he had _known _a "however" was coming.

"…this does not excuse murder," L continued. An edge had returned to his voice. "What you did is immoral, illegal, and inexcusable, and there will be consequences. Do you understand?"

"The betterment of the world is _immoral_?" Light scoffed, arms crossed, a smirk gracing his features—the very definition of arrogance. "My creation of a _perfect world _is _inexcusable_? The rate of crime in Japan alone has dropped—"

"Seventy percent, Light-kun. Yes, I know," L responded disinterestedly as he scanned the pages of the Death Note in his hands. "You have been breaking the lawfor your own childish purposes."

"You act like this is all about me! It's for the betterment of th—"

"You are the very picture of a selfish child abusing his power to play god." L lifted his eyes from the notebook and met Light's angry stare. "Do you disagree? Isn't that what you were doing?" L's eyes narrowed fractionally. "_Playing god?_"

The truth in L's words stung.

"I wasn't _playing god_," Light spoke up in his own defense, hating the fact that L had the upper hand.

In a twisted way, Light found it marginally reasonable to compare his current situation to being topped in bed; he certainly _was _"taking it up the ass" now, wasn't he? It had all caught up with him, and thoughts of the possible consequences were turning his stomach upside-down. Life in prison—if he was _lucky._ Likely he'd go insane that way.

_Death _sentence—ironically, Light was terrified at being subjected to the very same treatment he doled out on paper.

How many hundreds, thousands, ten thousands, hundreds of thousands… How many people had he killed, really? What kind of punishment did that merit?

"L," Light held his arms out in front of him, palms upturned. "You can understand this, can't you? This world is _rotten_, filled with _rotten _people doing _rotten _things. I'm using the power that was given to me in order to make this rotten world a better pl—"

"Light-kun," L intoned, sounding horribly bored with Light's little speech.

"—place," Light continued, irritated at the interruption. "And if _I _didn't do it, who—"

"Light-kun."

"—who _would_?" Light continued, flinging his arms out wide. "_I _had to—"

"Light-kun."

"_I_ had to do it!" Light had raised his voice to a shout to drown out L's interruption.

"Light-kun, you are saying useless things." From every angle, L had the upper hand, and they both knew it. "A murderer is a murderer. A human cannot be a god."

Light kept his mouth sealed tightly. He was running out of things to say, pitted against the only man who had the ability to leave him at a loss for words. He was about to speak, but he closed his mouth as L held up a hand for silence.

"Do you believe in redemption?" L asked softly, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a strawberry-flavored lollipop. His spidery fingers slowly peeled the wrapping away, and he slipped the lollipop into his mouth, sucking on it thoughtfully. "Do you believe people can repent for their sins?"

"A criminal is a criminal," Light responded, casting a sideways glance at Rem, who was watching the scene unfold.

"A criminal is a criminal," L repeated, grasping the lollipop stick between his thumb and forefinger. Pulling it out of his mouth for a moment, he mused, "And a murderer is a murderer. A murderer is a criminal. Kira is a murderer and, therefore, is a criminal. According to you, a criminal cannot repent for his sins. Therefore, could we not also say that Kira deserves to be destroyed for the 'betterment' of the world? Isn't that so, Light-kun?"

Light grimaced, pinned down and slapped in the face again by his own words. A growing sense of desperation had rooted itself in the corner of his uneasy stomach; of _course _there was some way he could weasel himself out of his predicament. If things got ugly enough, Light was confident that he would gain the upper hand in a physical fight and would ultimately be able to take the Death Note from L. There was his other fallback—the small piece of paper concealed in his watch. In the worst possible scenario, Light would be forced to trade for the Shinigami Eyes if his life was in complete danger. And then there was Rem, too.

Light glanced across the room, catching the Shinigami's eye and giving a subtle shake of his head.

_No, don't kill him. Not now, at least; L and I are the only ones here, and once the rest of the investigation team members come back and find L dead, their suspicions will immediately turn to me. That'll only land Misa and me in deeper trouble._

Light convinced himself that his logic was the only reason why he didn't want L dead. There were, of course, certain…_other _reasons, but Light closed his mind to them.

One should not love his enemy.

Light exhaled slowly, collecting his thoughts. L looked perfectly content, sitting on the couch and twisting the lollipop around his mouth with his tongue. Light wasn't standing close enough to notice the faint twinge of unease in L's black eyes.

"L," Light began, carefully selecting his words, "there are very simple mathematics involved in my logic. This world is terrible, corrupt, collapsing. Why? Because of the immeasurable number of terrible people doing terrible things. Subtract the rotten people and you cleanse the world."

"I suppose murdering _innocent _people is part of your agenda as well?" L asked darkly, turning his accusing onyx eyes on Light.

"Some people got in my way and had to be eliminated. The end justifies the means."

L shifted his weight slowly, placing one bare foot on the ground after the other and lazily rising to his feet. Still clutching the Death Note to his chest, he took one bold stride towards Light, speaking around the lollipop stick in his mouth, "What 'end' are you aiming for?"

"Justice; a world in which only good people—"

"Good people? As determined by what _standards_, Light-kun?" L's fingers tightened around the edges of the notebook. "Your _judgment_? Your pathetic _god _act? You have murdered people sharing this very same desire for 'Justice,' as you call it, merely because they stood in the way of your serial killings. Your sense of 'Justice' is warped beyond repair. Due to your inexcusable actions, you are no better than the criminals you destroy."

Light clenched his teeth, giving up on trying to sway L's opinion.

"So, what are you going to do?"

L smiled blackly, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a pen, dangling it in front of him like a pendulum. "I have many options at my disposal. Kira could be dead in forty seconds."

"You wouldn't," Light hissed, hand instinctively roaming to the watch around his wrist. "You _love _me. You wouldn't."

"I don't love you," L retorted, holding eye contact. "I don't love Kira."

"Then you _lied_?" Light narrowed his eyes into a malicious glare.

"I said I don't love Kira, but I do believe I am in love with Yagami Light," L clarified, breaking their staring contest and staring at his feet.

"Really. Who am I, then?" Light inquired, placing his hands on his hips and cocking his head slightly.

"At the moment, I believe you are Kira," L answered evenly. "Either way, my affection for Yagami Light will not jeopardize his _consequences_."

Acting out of what Light guessed to be disgust, L flung the Death Note across the distance between them. It landed, sprawled at Light's feet, face-up and open. Lines of names stared blankly up at Light, black ink contrasting starkly with the white paper.

"What will you do, Light-kun?" L perched himself on the arm of the couch, sitting in his usual odd fashion. His eyes narrowed challengingly. _"Kill me?"_

"There are cameras everywhere," Light snapped, curling his hands into fists as he glared down at the notebook. "And you know I don't know your name."

"You will have to act soon, whatever you do." L pulled his lollipop from his mouth, pinching the stick between his thumb and index finger as he used it to point towards the door. "Everyone else will be arriving back here shortly."

Light bent down, sweeping the Death Note into his grip. Immediately, Ryuk shifted into focus, hovering over L's right shoulder.

"It's been a while, Light." The Shinigami gave a wheezy laugh. "Things not going according to plan?"

Light shot a venomous glare at Ryuk but decided he had more important things to do. Light closed the distance between them and placed his hands on L's shoulders, bending down a little so he and the squatting detective were at the same eye level.

"Please don't touch me," L interjected, withdrawing from the contact. He could almost feel the words burning his throat, halfheartedly wishing he could take them back but knowing he shouldn't.

Light waved the Death Note in L's face. "Here. Take it."

"Kira does not want his murder notebook?" L nestled his thumb between his lips thoughtfully, grasping the Note precariously between two fingers and removing it from Light's grip.

In response to Light's cold, trapped silence, L spoke up. "I see several courses of action that can be taken. Firstly…"

L held up one thin, pale finger. "…I can write your name in the notebook and kill you."

The detective raised a second finger as Light scowled at him. "Secondly, I can arrest you. Your best bet would be life in prison, if you're lucky enough. Or, the more likely option—you will receive the death penalty."

"Is there an option that doesn't end with _death_?" Light asked through clenched teeth.

"Thirdly," L continued softly, pretending not to hear him, "we can reach a compromise."

L reached into the pocket of his jeans, pulling out a lighter and flicking life into it. The flame danced tauntingly in front of Light, burning dangerously close to the corner of the notebook L was holding in his other hand.

"You wouldn't do it," Light scoffed, placing his hands on his hips. "It's evidence. You _need _it."

"Really?" L shifted the lighter, holding the little flame closer to the Death Note. "We have another murder notebook, as you know. There is no need for a second one." L gave a humorless smile. "What is your decision?"

Light's anger was eating away at his composure, and he was barely able to restrain himself from hitting L. He was only held back by the thought of the ever-present cameras tracking every movement from all angles.

_Obviously I'd choose the option that doesn't involve death… There must be some kind of trick here. He must have taken steps to assure I wouldn't be able to get my hands on the other Death Note, so that third option would keep me alive but render me powerless. Then Kira would disappear… Either way, he wins._

_And I can't trust that he'll keep me alive, either. L's a liar._

"Can I trust you?" Light spat, glaring daggers at the disheveled detective perched precariously before him.

"_I _certainly don't trust _you_."

For some reason, that simple statement made Light feel as if someone had punched him hard in the stomach.

With a swift movement of L's hand, the flame made contact with the corner of the Death Note and Light watched in mortification as his plan caught fire and was incinerated right in front of his face. His role as Kira vanished before him, and he was rendered helpless as the charred remains of his Death Note fell to the floor at his feet.

This _wasn't _how it was supposed to go; Misa was supposed to dig up the Death Note and take on the responsibility of killing criminals. She was supposed to have L's name and be able to write it when Light ordered her to do so; he, Kira, was supposed to win.

"You didn't give me much of a _choice_," Light seethed as L pocketed the lighter once the notebook had completely disintegrated.

"I had a feeling," L announced, completely ignoring him, "that something was odd. It was too convenient for you and Amane-san; immediately cleared of suspicion. Sometimes it is advantageous to question the rules. Interestingly enough, Ryuk-san told me that there is no such penalty of death for destroying a Death Note."

"Shinigami often lie," Light hissed through gritted teeth, focusing his spiteful glare on Ryuk.

"Yet I am very much alive." L gave a cocky smile. "Did you know, Light-kun, that the thirteen-day rule is a lie?"

_Of course I do; it was __**my **__idea…_

"Even if I did not have concrete evidence against you, I was planning on eventually testing the notebook to test the validity of this particular rule." L's eyes were glued to the small pile of ashes on the floor. "You have been arrogant and careless, and you have lost."

L lifted his eyes to Light, gazing morosely at his former lover.

"Where's the other Death Note?" Light's hands were balled into tight fists, anger contorting his face into a mask of utmost malice.

"I burned it." Casual tone, deadpan face.

"You _what_!?" Light's eyes widened in horror. Both his Notes were destroyed—burned into the ground, gone forever. The only fragment of power he had left was the piece of the Note sealed inside his watch. "But you said—"

"You are Kira no longer," L stated simply. "I've saved you. Do you see?"

"That's great, L. Thanks a fucking lot," Light hissed, flexing his fingers. He wanted so _badly _to smash his clenched fist into L's smug visage, wanted to show L that he didn't need a Death Note to fight back as Kira. It was a foolish, last-ditch effort to retain his lead role in the "holier-than-thou" act. Right now, Light couldn't care less that there were cameras tracking his every move.

A half-smile graced the corners of L's lips. "You're going to hit me."

Perfectly on cue, the force of the blow sent L flying backwards, off the arm of the couch and onto the floor. The lollipop became lodged in his throat, and the detective began to choke. He scrambled to his knees, leaning forward, one hand on his stomach and the other clutching at his throat. After a few breathless seconds of sheer panic, he spat out the obstruction, panting on his hands and knees.

"Watari isn't going to be very pleased with that," L remarked, fighting to steady his shaking voice as he glanced at one of the cameras positioned in the corner, where the ceiling met the walls.

Light grabbed L by the collar of his shirt. "I don't care about what Watari thinks. I don't care that he's watching us. Listen…"

Light leaned in close, eyes narrowed. "You've exposed me as Kira. You've solved the case. You've destroyed my means of carrying out judgments."

"Yes, I have," L answered placidly.

"But what have you gained?"

L remained silent, gazing blankly at Light.

"What have you won, L?" Light tightened his grip on the collar of L's shirt, dragging the detective to a half-standing position.

"I've saved lives," L returned faintly, bowing his head to avoid eye contact.

"I know you don't care about that." Light grabbed a fistful of L's hair, jerking the detective's head up and forcing their eyes to meet. "The only reason you involved yourself in this case is because it_ interested_ you. You don't give a damn about people's _lives_. What is it that you really want?"

"Nothing," L replied defiantly. "You should be thanking me, if anything, for letting you off so easily."

"Nothing?" Light ran his fingers through L's hair, hate and love twining together to form some twisted combination of the two. "I was under the impression that you love a certain Yagami Light."

"You aren't—"

"You said it yourself, L." Light was more resigned than angry now. His thoughts were knitting themselves into something that resembled optimism as he continued, "I'm not Kira anymore. If that's true, then what the hell is holding you back from me? If you're just Ryuzaki and I'm just Light, what the hell is so wrong with it all?"

Something sparked in L's eyes, gone as quickly as it had come before Light could identify it. "Is that a confession?" An air of smugness had returned to his voice.

"Fuck you, L," Light whispered, closing the gap between their lips with a swift kiss.

Ryuk's background cry of "_WOAH!_" barely registered on either of their radar.

"Hmm? Is that a confession, too?" L asked, raising a brow. A smirk played on his features; an air of giddiness had suddenly overturned most of his coherent thoughts. He knew Light could be putting on an act, but the rush of heat felt like it did so long ago, and Light's demeanor seemed to have shifted. L was a fully functional lie detector; his gut twisted up whenever he had a feeling that Light was lying.

But at the moment, the only feeling in his stomach was a lurch of euphoria.

"Maybe," Light answered in response to L's question. "However…" His glance flickered to the door. "I would _hate _to be interrupted. Let's move to a more appropriate location."

Without hesitation, Light scooped L up in his arms, heading off in the direction of their room.

"Put me _down_," L demanded, completely robbed of his dignity. He was hardly in any position to struggle, and Light merely tightened his grip. Realizing that attempting to escape was useless, L surrendered and sulked in silence.

Upon reaching their room, Light nudged the door shut with his foot. He was still quite angry with L for shattering his image as Kira and destroying his dreams of a perfect world. Light wanted to make it hurt, but not terribly much.

"I'm topping," Light whispered with a sadistic grin as he dropped L down onto the bed—the very same one in which they had committed their little sins every night in the precious time before Light's memory had gone to hell.

"You're—"

Light cut him off with a swift kiss to the mouth, pinning L's wrists down to the mattress. It tasted partly of artificial strawberry flavoring, and partly like something vaguely familiar—a taste that sent beautiful tremors of nostalgia shuddering through the younger man. Light released L's wrists and snaked his hands up the detective's shirt, causing L to gasp at the fleeting, feathery touches. Light seized his chance, slipping his tongue into L's vulnerable mouth. After a short moment of wide-eyed shock, L responded with equal enthusiasm, allowing his eyes to droop shut as his tongue twisted itself into Light's.

They broke apart for a moment, hearts thudding offbeat, breath coming in staggered gasps.

"You're a sore loser…" L murmured thickly, breathing unevenly as he stared up at Light.

"And you aren't?" Light whispered against L's neck, smirking as the detective trembled beneath him at the contact.

"I have never argued otherwise," L stated simply, gathering himself and shoving Light off of him, pinning the younger man onto his back. "Who's winning now, Light-kun?" he murmured tauntingly, giving a reminiscent smile as he was reminded of a past that was now making itself very real.

Light laughed as a wave of ecstasy jolted through him. His bright eyes were filled with life as he experienced the first rush of non-malicious happiness he had felt in what seemed like forever, and as L gazed down, he deduced that Light couldn't possibly be faking, despite the brunette's excellent acting skills.

Even as he laughed, The Death Note fragment still lurked against Light's wrist, a constant reminder that he wasn't finished yet. Kira was still very much alive, living in the tiny recesses of his watch. A flicker of power still lingered, and Light knew he wasn't completely done for just yet.

_No; right now it's just Light and Ryuzaki._

_Right now, we're not enemies. Right now, it's all okay._

"I'm still topping," Light said sweetly, reaching up and grabbing at L's shirt, lifting it over the detective's head and discarding it haphazardly on the floor.

"You wear too much…" L muttered, ignoring the previous comment as he began to undress Light, pulling off his jacket, followed by his shirt.

"Sorry for not restricting my outfits to _two _pieces," Light retorted, watching L's hands as they fumbled with the buttons. Once L had finished, he tossed the clothing to the floor, where it landed in a crumpled heap beside his own.

L began his assault immediately, lunging for Light's neck and trailing slow, measured kisses down its length and to Light's chest. He continued his languid tirade of affection, mouth continuing to travel downwards as he began to undo Light's belt, struggling to keep his hands steady.

Light glanced sideways at the bedside table, catching a glimpse of the chain and handcuffs that used to bind them together coiled up on the tabletop. His eyes flicked back to the ebony-haired detective, who was focusing all his attention on Light's midsection. And then he got an idea.

Letting out little hisses of pleasure here and there, Light focused his thoughts together and reached out for the chain beside him, blindly looping it around the headboard behind him. By this point, L had worked his way all the way down, carelessly tossing Light's belt aside.

"Wait," Light murmured, grabbing L's arm and pulling him close, snapping the handcuff around the detective's wrist.

"L-Light-kun, what—"

Taking advantage of L's dazed state, Light snapped the other cuff around L's opposite wrist, flipping the detective onto his back.

"I told you already." Light kissed L reassuringly, pulling away with a smirk. "_I'm _topping tonight."

"That's cheating," L interjected sullenly, squirming halfheartedly against his bindings.

"Since when have I ever played fair?" Light returned smugly, unzipping L's jeans and sliding his hand inside, eliciting a strangled moan from the handcuffed detective.

"Valid…_ah_…p-point," L whispered, squeezing his eyes shut and stifling another moan. Frankly, he really didn't care that he would be bottoming; as long as he was here with Light, and they were…

"Nnn… Light-kun…" L arched his back, feeling the warmth of Light's mouth on him, feeling himself burning at the contact. The chains binding his wrists jingled as he writhed in pleasure, clenching tight fists around the cool metal.

Outside the bedroom, hearing the _very_ audible sounds coming from inside, Rem and Ryuk exchanged glances.

"_That's _a surprise… I didn't know Light swung that way. He always had, like…ten girlfriends at a time," Ryuk remarked with a snicker, poking his head through the closed door to get a view of the action inside.

"That's disgusting. Don't _watch_." Rem grabbed Ryuk by the arm and yanked him away from the bedroom. "Misa's not going to be happy if she ever finds out about this…"

"_Ah, god! Light-kun!"_

Ryuk cackled, taking one last glance through the bedroom door before floating off to raid the kitchen for apples.

_Humans are…_

…_**interesting.**_

- - -

**A/N: Zomg, Ryuk loves yaoi pr0nz and bondage! XD**

**Sorry for the slow update; I've been insanely busy lately and I had a huge block this weekend (terrible excuse, I know…). But hey, the chapter itself is much longer than what I usually write (also, terrible excuse). I extended it because I didn't want to be mean and leave a LightxL/LxLight cliffhanger. D:**

**-slaps Light and L- And it's about freakin' **_**time**_**, you two. I've been wanting to write some yaoiness between you two for AGES. I haven't steeled myself enough to write full-out smut (I'm sorry…I apologize to the WHOLE WORLD!), but meh. It's LightxL. With **_**bondage**_**. XD Still adorable and yaoilicious (that's a pretty awesome word).**

**:D**

**Oho, but it ain't over yet, kiddies… Kira ain't dead **_**yet**_**! I've had more inspiration for the plotline of this odd little improv fic. :D There shall be fluffiness and then…PLOT (hopefully)! :D**

**Ryuk the yaoi fanboi. I can**_**not **_**get over that. XD Sorry, I'mma shut up now… **

**As always, thanks for reading!**


	11. XI: Smiles

_**Here Lies Justice**_

_Chapter XI: Smiles_

- - -

The first thing L realized upon waking up was that he was in pain. It wasn't to the point of excruciation, but it did hurt. As promised, Light had been far from gentle, since his anger the previous night had not yet dissipated.

L shifted position, lying on his side to avoid provoking more pain in his backside. He snuggled against the still-sleeping Light, resting his head in the crook of Light's neck. It had all been worthwhile, despite the pain. L smiled wryly as he began to fondly play with Light's hair; _he _would be topping next time. He refused to allow Light to pull any handcuff tricks again; even if it _was _rather enjoyable, L demanded his fair share.

The black-haired detective glanced through sleepy eyes at the chains now lying on the floor in a heap. Light had set him free once he was satisfied, and now L felt like he could sleep for weeks.

L sighed, continuing to gently run his fingers through Light's auburn hair. He still suspected Light of having some kind of last resort; a backup plan, or perhaps some pieces of a Death Note hidden away somewhere. It wasn't like Light to not plan ahead for the worst case situation.

"Panda-chaaan…" Light mumbled in his sleep, grasping L's arm possessively and completely interrupting the older man's thought process.

"Despite everything…" L murmured, fighting the tinge of pink threatening to flood his face, "you're quite sweet, Light-kun."

Light made a small noise somewhere between a grunt and a moan, still clinging to L's arm. Content and warm, they remained like that for around an hour or so until Light awoke.

"Nnn…" Light rubbed his eyes, stifling a yawn. "G'morning…"

"Good morning, Light-kun," L answered, sitting up with his back against his pillow, absentmindedly stroking Light's hair, seemingly fascinated by how soft, silky, and tame it was.

"How long've you been up for?" Light asked wearily, glancing up at the detective, who looked even more unkempt than usual.

"Not long." L was utterly transfixed as he stared down at his lover. "I was watching you sleep."

"…Oh."

"You called me 'Panda-chan.'" L's face remained deadpan, but his voice was dripping with amusement.

"I _did_?" Light looked mortified.

L nodded, leaning down to steal a kiss. Hovering a hair's breadth away from Light's lips, L whispered, gazing at Light through half-lidded eyes, "It was cute."

Light laughed weakly, placing his hands on the sides of L's face. He had to admit, despite the messy appearance, L had a weird sort of charm about him; or perhaps it was just the light filtering invasively into their room through the window, or the particular way in which the clump of tousled ebony hair was framing the detective's pale face, or perhaps it was the puzzled inflection with which L asked, "Do I really look that much like a panda, Light-kun?"

"It's your eyes." Light traced the dark semicircle beneath L's left eye with a delicate finger. "They look like panda eyes. It's probably because you don't get enough sleep."

"I remember being chained by a certain someone to a certain headboard last night," L retorted, fondly tousling Light's hair, "which severely interrupted my time for sleeping."

"Mmm, but you forgot to mention the fact that…" Light captured L's lips in a fleeting, chaste kiss, "…you enjoyed every _second _of it."

L mumbled something along the lines of, "Light-kun is a skillful sexual predator."

"Mmm… Maybe I am," Light whispered against L's neck, drawing a full-body shudder from the detective. "_Panda-chan_."

"That is a humiliating nickname…" L found it increasingly difficult to concentrate as Light placed feathery kisses on his neck. "So please…ah…don't call me…nnn…"

"I can't hear you," Light murmured, smirking as L's protests died down.

L remained silent for a moment, struggling to gather his thoughts. "Light-kun," he finally said, never drawing his eyes away from the ceiling, "promise you won't smash your head into hard things anymore?" His tone was joking, but his eyes took on a whole different persona; they were stricken with worry now that he had finally gotten back the thing most precious to him. He certainly didn't want to lose Light again. His voice dropped in pitch and now sounded more melancholy than anything else. "Promise you won't forget?"

"I won't."

"Do you _promise_?"

"Yes, I—hey, L, look at me."

L's eyes dropped from the ceiling and caught Light's.

"Yes, I promise," Light continued once he had L's attention.

"Are you sure?" L's voice was tinted with unease.

"I promise." Light grabbed the detective's shoulders, pulling him into a gentle kiss. Retreating slowly, Light offered a reassuring smile. "Okay?"

"This feels like a movie," L murmured thoughtfully, shoving a thumb between his lips. "Do you think we'll live happily ever after?"

"Real life isn't a fairytale, L," Light said gently, brushing stray clumps of black hair out of L's face. "We'll live as happily ever after as we can, okay?"

L remained silent, gazing at the ceiling, thumb still nestled between his lips.

"I'll _build _you a nice little 'happily ever after,' okay?" Light murmured, stroking L's cheek. "Would that make you happy?"

"Yes," L replied simply, placing his hand over Light's. A smile twitched at the corner of his mouth. "You do."

"You're _sappy_," Light whispered with a smile, softly kissing L's forehead.

L's stomach grumbled obnoxiously, signaling that the detective was overdue for breakfast.

"Let's go eat," L suggested after a hasty kiss, rising to his feet and grabbing yesterday's clothes, haphazardly throwing them on.

"But I'm not done with you yet," Light grumbled, standing up and wrapping his arms around L's slender waist. "…_Panda-chan_."

L cupped Light's chin in his hand, leaning in to kiss the younger man, lightly running his tongue over Light's bottom lip before retreating. "I'm _hungry_, Light-kun." L dropped his hand, running it over Light's bare chest. "We're going to eat now, okay?"

Heat pooled in Light's stomach at the touch, and he followed L out of the room without further complaint. Their hands were clasped tightly together as they walked down the hall, and L, grinning smugly to himself, decided not to remind Light to put on a shirt.

"What're you so happy about?" Light asked, bemused as he caught a glimpse of L's smile.

"You," L answered simply, a broader smile gracing his features.

Light melted. And it wasn't something he did often—_ever_, in fact. He shook his head and bit his tongue before he could blurt out something stupid (like the fact that L needed to stop being so damned _cute_). As if Light wasn't already having second thoughts about the Death Note piece in his watch beforehand… L was luring him in, enthralling him, and Light wished he could lock this time together up in a small glass box and keep it there forever; he wished nothing would ever change.

More importantly, he needed to destroy his trump card; he needed to get rid of the Death Note fragment in his watch before any temptation or the remnants of his Kira frame of mind struck again.

"Something wrong?" L's voice was edged with concern as they stepped into the kitchen. He turned to face Light head-on, grasping both of the younger man's hands.

"No…" Light playfully ruffled L's hair. "Let's get something to eat."

L crossed the kitchen, grabbing a box of doughnuts from the countertop and placing them on the kitchen table. From past experience, he knew Light always responded negatively when offered doughnuts for breakfast, so L asked, "What would you like?"

"Those look good," Light responded cheerfully; he was in an excellent mood, despite the overhanging guilt locked into the watch around his wrist. With a tint of amusement in his voice, he continued, "Not drugged, I presume?"

L shook his head, opening the top of the box. "You really do remember everything, don't you…"

"Mostly," Light replied, glancing into the box. Six glazed doughnuts were lined up vertically, side-by-side, and his stomach growled in anticipation; he hadn't realized how hungry he was. "I don't really remember what happened just before the accident, but everything else is pretty clear."

Light used a napkin to pick up his doughnut to avoid getting glaze on his fingers; L, however, snatched one with his bare hand, dangling it precariously in his usual fashion as he began to devour it.

Light cast a subtle glance across the table, watching L eat. The detective was halfway through his first, and Light had only taken a couple bites of his.

"You're a fast eater," Light pointed out rather obviously. Because "_you're really quite adorable when you're eating, L_" was hardly appropriate. Now that the setback of him being Kira had been dropped, Light knew he could say pretty much anything without consequences. They'd had _sex_, for god's sake; but still, Light had his dignity and would not stoop low enough to shower L with ridiculous-sounding compliments.

"Mmm, well," L mumbled between bites, "I told you I'm hungry."

They continued to eat in silence—L finishing doughnut after doughnut, eventually emptying the entire box of its contents. Light glanced interestedly across the table as L began to lick the doughnut glaze off of his fingers.

"So, now that Kira has been captured…" L wedged his index finger into his mouth, sucking on it delicately to remove the remaining glaze. "…what do you propose we do?"

"Uhmm…" Light muttered, attention straying to the action around L's mouth.

"Are you paying attention, Light-kun?" There was an air of…_something_—something that bordered on seductive_—_that clung to L's voice as he pointedly ran his tongue slowly along the length of his forefinger. Perhaps the detective actually knew what he was doing…

"Hnn…" Light picked at the crumbs of his finished doughnut, peeling his eyes away from L. "Well, if the killings stop, then—"

"_If _the killings stop, Light-kun?" L inquired, leaning forward in his chair with a feral look of excitement in his eyes. "What are you suggesting?"

Light sighed deeply, rolling his eyes. "_When _the killings stop… Then the investigation will be closed. Higuchi was Kira; that's all the investigation team knows. With Higuchi in custody and Kira disappearing simultaneously, the only logical explanation would be to say that Higuchi was the _only_ Kira, and therefore, the case would be closed."

"The only problem is that we all know the Yotsuba Kira, Higuchi, is different than…" L cast a significant glance in Light's direction, "…the original Kira. The motives and victims of each were drastically dissimilar."

"The original Kira is dead," Light replied solemnly, gazing down at his folded hands. "We'll wait for a while, confirm the killings are over with the rest of the investigation team, and then…" He lifted his eyes to L. "What happens next?"

"Well, a certain someone promised to build me a 'happily ever after,'" L suggested, reaching across the small table and poking Light squarely in the forehead.

Light grabbed L's wrist, pulling him out of his seat so his body was stretched across the table. "Of course." He pressed his lips to L's in a soft kiss as heat surged through his arms, into his fingertips, back to his chest, and then down through his stomach.

"That's the first thing I'll do."

- - -

The day passed by in a blur, with no more recorded killings. L spun an easy lie and told the rest of the investigation team that he had locked away the Death Note they had acquired from Higuchi so that it could never be used again. This was met with murmurs of agreement regarding the level of danger attached to the notebook. Day faded into night, and as the sun rose the following morning, L awoke to another Halloween—another birthday.

His hair was more askew than usual, probably because of the amazing night he and Light had shared just a few hours ago. As L sat up, it took him a moment to realize Light was awake.

"Hey, L," Light murmured sleepily.

"Good morning, Light-kun."

"D'ya know what day it is?" Light muttered, snuggling closer to L and resting his head in the detective's lap.

"No." L gently threaded his fingers through Light's hair, gazing down at him.

"October 31st. It's Halloween."

"Is that so?" L inquired disinterestedly.

"Mmhmm."

After a long pause, L declared softly, "Today is my birthday."

Light's eyes went wide. "Really?"

"Yes," L replied simply.

"But…" Light sat up suddenly. "I haven't got any presents for you! Why didn't you _tell _me?"

"I don't celebrate my birthday," L replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Please don't worry about stupid things like presents." He gently ruffled Light's hair, leaning over for a kiss. "You're all I need."

"Sappy as ever, Panda-chan." Light gave a smile, thinking all the while about what he was going to do. He wasn't going to just let L's birthday go ignored.

"I thought I asked you to stop calling me that."

"Humor me," Light murmured, closing the deal with a kiss. "So what do you want to do for your birthday?"

"I have already told you that I don't—"

Before L could finish his sentence, Light had already gotten up and dashed out the door. L sighed and lay back down, gazing at the ceiling. Light was going to do _something _to celebrate; L decided it was wise to just stay out of the way and wait. He planned to be unpleasantly surprised; he had never liked parties of any sort.

Resigned, he slid open the drawer of the nightstand beside the bed, fixing his eyes on the Death Note sitting formidably inside.

He'd _claimed _to have burned the Note they had acquired from Higuchi…

But the truth was, L was a liar.

- - -

Light poked his head into the room some time later; L guessed it had been several hours, though he hadn't been paying attention to the clock.

"Come downstairs, L," Light requested cheerily, closing the distance between the bed and the door.

"I don't want to." L jerked his eyes sideways. Something white and powdery was smudged across Light's left cheek in an almost comical and downright adorable fashion. Guessing it was flour or sugar, L suddenly asked, "Have you been cooking?"

"Just come downstairs," Light insisted, grabbing L's arm and tugging the detective into a standing position. "_Please_, Panda-chan." His arm encircled L's waist, pulling the raven-haired detective close, bodies pressed together. "Come get Part One of your birthday present."

L groaned. "There are multiple _parts_?"

"Part Two…" Light murmured, capturing L's lips in a heated kiss. Drawing away and tangling his fingers into L's, he finished, "…comes much _later_." Noting the tint of pink creeping across L's face, Light asked with a grin, "Interested now?"

"Mildly," L replied stiffly, desperately attempting to preserve his dignity.

Light raised a brow.

Surrendering with an eyeroll, L huffed, "_Extremely_. Now where's this Part One you mentioned?"

Kissing L lightly atop the head, Light pulled the detective by the arm to the door. "Thank you for putting up with me, Panda-chan."

"Who's the sappy one now?" Innocent smile.

"Shut up. It's your own fault I say weird things like that. Stop being such a cute little bastard."

L stopped short, causing Light to pause and turn to face him. "Cute?"

"_Mildly_," Light said imitatively, a mocking edge to his voice as a grin crept across his face.

"Light-kun thinks I'm…cute?" L repeated blankly.

"I said _mildly_," Light corrected.

L tilted his head slightly to the side, wedging a thumb in his mouth as he pondered Light's words.

"Oh, hell." Light threw his arms into the air in surrender. "You're fucking adorable."

- - -

"You made me a cake, Light-kun?" L's eyes were wide and glazed over with longing as he took in the sight of the confection. Strawberries framed the entire outer edge of the cake, each one topped with a small amount of whipped cream. Red lettering covered the white icing in the center of the cake, spelling out, "Happy birthday, Panda-chan!" As if to add emphasis to the final word, a panda was drawn below the writing.

"Yeah, I'm not that great at baking or anything, so…" Light shrugged. "I suppose you'll eat anything with sugar in it, so hopefully you'll like it."

L, ignoring the knife and picking up only the fork, carved out a giant chunk of the cake, shoving it into his mouth. "This is very good," he remarked, obviously impressed as he shoveled another large mouthful down his throat.

Light grabbed a small wrapped box that was sitting on the other side of the table, handing it to L, who took about forever and a day to untie the ribbon due to his odd mannerisms. "You didn't have to get me anything…" L murmured, tearing off the wrapping paper and opening the little box. A small stuffed panda sat inside, drawing a smile from the detective. He opened the card, eyes scanning the brief message.

"_Panda-chan—_

_I love you._

_- Light_"

L stood up, pushing back his chair as tendrils of joy crept through him. He lifted his hands, reaching out twining them into Light's hair. Pulling the brunette close, L descended upon Light's mouth, tongue begging for entry. Light complied and was swept up into the heat of the kiss, slipping his arms around L's slender waist. It tasted sweet—like cake and icing and strawberries and L, all blended into pure bliss. Pulling away, breathing heavily, they stared at each other, at a loss for words until L murmured, "Thank you, Light-kun."

Light stroked L's hair, drawing a soft, contented sigh from the detective. "Happy birthday, L."

- - -

Hours later, they lay in bed together as the best birthday L ever had was drawing to a close.

"L?" Light's voice was whisper-quiet as it broke through the thick silence. He was cradling L's head in his left arm, resting his own head on the ebony-haired detective's shoulder.

"Yes?"

After a moment of hesitation, Light whispered into L's hair, "…I really do love you."

There was a long, drawn-out pause between them. Light's heart thudded uncomfortably against his ribcage, and he feared he had misspoken and somehow upset L. He shifted nervously, debating over whether or not he should break the silence. Just as Light was about to speak up, the reply came.

"I believe you."

The statement conveyed a sense of trust, which meant more to Light than any "I love you" ever could.

- - -

Light asked the question in the morning, after a few minutes of cuddling against the warm body beside him.

"Hey, L?"

"Yes?"

"Are you ever going to tell me your real name? I mean, there's no harm in it since I don't have my Death Note anymore."

After a long pause, L said slowly, "I suppose." Another pause. "My name is L Lawliet."

He was perpetually aware of the danger in telling Light his true name. It was precisely _because _of this danger, in fact, that L chose to do so. After Light had gotten up and headed into the bathroom to take a shower, L pulled the Death Note out of its drawer, placing it directly on their bed. There was no way Light would be able to miss it when it was placed as such, blatantly on display.

It was there to tempt Light. It stood out in broad daylight, face-up—a challenge. But it was also more than that; L knew Light would understand.

Light emerged from the bathroom twenty minutes later, droplets of water clinging to the ends of his wet hair, spilling to the ground as he walked. Adjusting the towel wrapped around his waist, Light turned in the direction of his closet, suddenly whipping his head back in a comical double-take as his eyes fell upon the Death Note positioned welcomingly, temptingly on the bed.

He scanned the room, noting L's absence. Immediately, he knew this must be a test of sorts. He picked up the Death Note, flipping delicately through its pages. So L had been lying about burning the other Note—Light had suspected the detective of having some kind of trick up his sleeve. Smitten or not, L was far from stupid or careless.

Although, it did seem rather daring to leave the notebook out right after telling Light the name L had been keeping hidden for so long. All according to some twisted plan, Light supposed. He flexed the fingers of his right hand, recalling a time long ago when he had used them to spread his Justice, his divine judgment.

"L Lawliet." Light tasted the deliciously poisonous words on his tongue. How much _power _he had now—it surged through him briefly before he was reminded that his ties to everything that had been Kira were severed. And he knew that ultimately, Kira had lost to the startlingly human trump card L had unconsciously held in his pocket—Kira fell for love, and he fell hard from a hundred-story building, crushed into the pavement, facedown like the criminals he had brought to his standard of Justice.

Light understood now; this wasn't an ordinary L-versus-Kira challenge. It was L declaring his victory against Light, simultaneously extending his trust to the point of possible severe danger.

Despite losing, a sense of acceptance was finally able to settle comfortably into Light's stomach. He closed the Note, crossing the distance to the door and stepping into the hall, heading downstairs to the kitchen. For some reason, he knew L would be there.

"Good morning, Light-kun," L intoned without looking up; he had eyes only for his sugar-flooded coffee cup.

Light dropped the Death Note onto the table in front of L. The slapping sound it made upon impact with the table jerked L out of his staring contest with his coffee. His eyes flicked to Light, questioning silently. It registered vaguely in the back of his mind that Light was shirtless and dripping, only just having come out of the shower.

"Feeling up for a bonfire, Panda-chan?" Light clicked open his watch, pulling out the scrap of paper with "Higuchi Kyosuke" scrawled on it in blood. Clutching the Death Note piece delicately, he placed it on top of the face-up notebook, folding his arms across his chest when he had finished.

"You are willing to burn your murder notebook?" L asked dully, keeping a blank face.

"It's not mine." Light gently stroked L's messy hair, drawing a barely-suppressed sigh from the detective. "You dethroned me, remember?"

"Mmm." L gazed at Light through half-lidded eyes as he succumbed to the wonderful feeling of being touched. "Does this mean you're surrendering for good? Kira hates to lose, you know…"

"I suppose I did lose, but… Somehow, topping you is sufficient enough," Light murmured, pressing his lips to L's, continuing to stroke the detective's hair, invoking more blissful sighs.

"You should be in prison, you know," L whispered without a hint of guilt attached to his voice as a shudder crept through his chest at Light's touch. "Or dead…" L sighed, reaching out from his sitting position and wrapping his arms around Light's waist. "I love you too much. It impairs my judgment."

"I could say the same to you," Light replied, straightening up as a smile graced his features.

"And yet, here we are… Hnn… Ah, there." L pulled his arms away from Light's waist, watching with satisfaction as the towel fell away, fully exposing the younger man's body.

"You…" A flash of pink crossed Light's astonished face. "You horny _bastard_!"

L gave an uncharacteristic devilish, "you know you'll like it" grin.

Light laughed—he'd noticed he had been laughing so much more often now that he and L were together—and ruffled L's disastrous hair.

"I _love _you, you horny bastard…" he murmured, smiling down into L's enormous eyes.

L mirrored Light's smile—how _odd _it was, he subconsciously noted, that he had been smiling so much recently…

And he gave the most meaningful response Light would ever receive, more powerful than the obvious "I love you" that lingered all over L whenever he looked at Light, or touched Light, or talked to Light—

"I believe you."

And the truth was, L the liar was being perfectly honest.

_**Finis.**_

- - -

**A/N: Aaand, that's a wrap! To be perfectly honest, I was getting tired of writing this fic, so I decided to bring it to a close. Happy, sappy, fluff-filled ending. D'awww. And just think—when I originally started writing this fic, it was going to end with both charries dead. XD Ahh, well, I'm sort of glad I totally switched angles. I'll write an angsty fic some other time. XD**

**I've been anxious to start a new fic, but I'm in desperate need of plotlineee… -siiigh- I need inspiration. XD**

**Also, sorry for the extremely slow update… Juggling school, track, family problems, etc. I meant to submit this last night, but FF was having problems with the login/submission area.**

**Hmm, I'm not really happy at all with this chapter; it's too fragmented and abrupt in places, but whatever. I know what's wrong with it so…be relatively nice with any critique? XD**

**Anyway, thanks so much for reading and to everyone who reviewed! :D**


End file.
